tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62399258474174349932024-02-20T13:16:00.252-05:00Travels with ChuckieA collection of bizarre thoughts that stick in the filter at the bottom of Chuckie's mind.Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.comBlogger170125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-80455188079256486072022-10-15T08:44:00.005-04:002022-10-15T08:50:40.523-04:00<p> <span style="font-size: large;">MY TAKE ON THE UKRAINE WAR</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: large;">This is why we are all screwed.</span></b></p><p><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">This all started when we put offensive missiles in Turkey and Italy in 1959. The Soviets responded by putting missiles in Cuba. Hence the Cuban Missile Crisis. We had real statesmen back then and the crisis was resolved.</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">When the Soviet Union broke up, NATO pledged to not move one inch closer to Russia’s new border. NATO broke this promise almost immediately. NATO moved significantly further east with Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania Poland, The Czech Republic, Hungary, Romania and Bulgaria. Most recently Sweden and Finland.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">In the 90s Russian backed President Polenchko of Ukraine was overthrown by the US backed Voldomer Zelensky ( I know I am murdering the spelling of these names and I apologize.) The eastern side of Ukraine never wanted to leave Russian rule. They liked their plentiful economy and they all spoke Russian anyway. They were Russians. These areas are Luhansk, Zaporizhai, Donetsk, Kherson, Kharkiv, Meiyopol and the Crimean Peninsula. Upon making their feelings known, the US backed government of Ukraine based in Kyiv decided to launch a mini civil war to prevent these areas from leaving. They launched countless attacks against these regions killing thousands of their own countrymen. Crimea had a referendum that was totally legitimate and voted over 90% to go back to Russia. Ukraine would have nothing of it. Russia invaded Crimea and took it over thus gaining a warm water port (Sevastopol) in the Black Sea. They built a beautiful bridge to Crimea from Mainland Russia. An engineering marvel to be honest.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The Ukraine then starts to have interest in joining NATO and the European Union.This pushed Russia over the edge. NATO had moved hundreds of miles closer to their territory. Missiles locations in Ukraine would have less than a 5 minute flight time to Moscow. Russia had to do something. They warned the US and NATO dozens of times to stop or they would be forced to take military action, We didn’t and they did.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Remember that stalled convoy of outdated and antique Soviet Era armor that sat outside of Kyiv for so long? It was just a diversion from Russia’s true objective of retaking the east. Eastern Ukraine is where all their valuable natural resources are,. Uranium, Titanium, Copper, Coal, and Oil and many others reside in the mountains of Eastern Ukraine. After the fighting slowed down a month or so ago, Four regions in Eastern Ukraine had a referendum. They voted to go back to Russia with a plurality of over 85%. Russia accepted them in and they are now Russian<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>territory.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The US sanctions stole billions of dollars from Russia and Russian businessmen. By seizing legitimate funds from US and European banks WE, the United States, committed crimes. Seizing assets of Russian millionaires (Property, Cash, Yachts etc) we were in the wrong. The sanctions have destroyed the economy of Europe, Most of Europe has had all of their natural gas supplies shut off by Russia so they are going to face astronomical heating and electrical costs this winter. The Ukrainian Wheat harvest has been all but eliminated. Europe is in one hell of a mess. Gas prices in the US are going to skyrocket with Russia’s oil reserves not being on the world market. Times for the world are going to get ugly, REALLY UGLY.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Our leadership vacuum in Washington has allowed this to all happen. The whole world is going down the toilet because America is floundering under pathetic leadership. Iran, North Korea, Russia, China, Armenia are all going to hell while in the US we are worried about Donald Trump, Black Lives Matter and what bathrooms school kids can use. Our Southern Border is a catastrophe our economy has been decimated and gasoline is over $6.00 a gallon in some places.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The US is sending billions of dollars we don’t have to Ukraine for this war effort. This whole mess would have been over in two weeks if we had kept our noses out of it. By sending more and more weapons and more lethal and sophisticated arms to Ukraine we are now involved. We are assisting and facilitating the killing of Russian Soldiers. This is a proxy war against Russia. It's WW III already. We just haven't joined in yet. It took us two years to get involved in WW II. Same thing here.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The Russian conventional forces cannot stand up to NATO’s more modern and lethal equipment. Putin has warned a dozen times that if NATO gets involved they will be forced to defend themselves with Nuclear Weapons. Their last line of defense. Instead of staying out of this Fray we are sending more and more weapons and money to Ukraine. Our congress is supplying Ukraine helping them kill Russians in a war that is not our concern, knowing full well that Russia will use Nuclear Weapons if they are backed into a corner or if NATO joins in. Yet we are STILL sending lethal equipment to Ukraine.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">How does this make ANY sense whatsoever?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Our economy is down the toilet. During Covid we printed and gave away trillions of dollars of aide without concern of the future cost. Our economy tanked do to lost production and the labor slowdown. Our workforce demanded unreasonable wage increases and inflation went through the roof. Gas prices, Food, Utilities all are at unheard of levels. In order to keep oil prices down ahead of the midterm elections, our fool president tapped the strategic oil reserve. It’s now below half of it’s level when Trump was in office. He filled it to 100% by the way. So when we stop stealing oil from our strategic oil reserver later this month prices will start to creep back up. Creep? Hell skyrocket.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">All this has been caused by our ineffective president and traitor congress. They see a war as the only way to get out of our economic mess that THEY created. If a US city gets nuked they will declare that all our debts are null and void. That is what you do in a war. They will get away with all their criminal spending and misappropriation of funds at the expense of a few million American citizens. And we voted these ass clowns into office to represent us.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">We are seriously screwed and it’s all going to come to a head probably by the end of this month.</p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Sorry this is so long, It’s just a short synopsis of a much more complicated explanation. I have been watching this for years now and probably studied it more than most. I am a bit of a history nerd. While we have been worried about silly domestic issues like transgender education in schools and what pronouns to use with school children, Russia has been arming itself to the teeth with hypersonic weapons and new and better nuclear arms. We are in serious trouble here and I can’t see our politicians (not statesmen) willing to back down and save us all.</p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Don't look at the flash! You have all been warned!</span></b></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-28029883686131935722021-08-10T09:09:00.002-04:002021-08-11T16:58:50.739-04:00The latest Poison Gas Attack?<p><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium;">Here’s something that I’ll bet you didn’t think of and could only come from Chuckie’s demented mind…</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When I was teaching CPR and CPR instructor classes back in years past, we required instructors to “Inflate” the recording Annie with 0.8 liters of air per breath with mouth to mouth or mouth to nose resuscitation, so we will use that as our standard measurement.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Therefore, 0.8 liters per breath X 12 breaths per minute is 9.6 liters of air per minute that go through your lungs. Some of the oxygen is harvested for your metabolic needs and the waste carbon dioxide is expelled back into the atmosphere. 9.6 liters per minute X 60 minutes is 576 liters of air moved an hour.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> M</span>ultiply that 576 by 24 hours and you get a whopping 13,824 liters of air pumped through your lungs a day.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">That’s 3652 (rounded) gallons of air per person every day assuming that person breathes no more than 12 times a minute all day. (Which is a ridiculously low estimate) One step further you cry? Okay, here goes. 3652 gallons of air per day per adult human would be 1,332,980 gallons of air processed by each adult human per year. Each human exhales about 2.3 pounds of carbon dioxide a day. (Government and hospital numbers, not mine)</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Carbon Dioxide is a greenhouse gas and major component in the supposed Man Made Global Warming/Climate Change crisis.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">So with 4.31 million Covid 19 deaths worldwide to date the amount of C02 pumped into the air has been decreased by 3,618,245,000 (that’s three billion, six hundred eighteen million, two hundred forty five thousand) pounds of carbon dioxide since the global pandemic started.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Of course these are all estimates and based on government data and death estimates.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Sure it’s gruesome but it sort of makes you wonder why the press hasn’t jumped on this little tidbit. Could it be that it doesn’t fit their fear mongering, doomsday, commercial selling agenda? They all went apeshit over the amount of methane that cows fart into the atmosphere.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Why aren't they reporting these numbers?</span></p>Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-1499034374300805862021-02-11T14:26:00.001-05:002021-02-11T14:26:06.432-05:00The Haunted Hospital Bed.....<p> <span style="font-family: Garamond;"><span style="font-size: medium;">*****Warning*****</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">This posting may contain adult language of the type I have always used before. If you are sensitive to profanity and/or bloody and gory medical language you should probably not read further.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The days we live in are truly miraculous. This past Tuesday I went into the hospital to undergo “Brain Coiling” This is where they go in through my femoral artery like a heart cath and snake a catheter up into my brain. They then place tiny coils made of platinum into the aneurysm to prevent it’s growth and eventual rupture. If one of these things blows (ruptures) in your head it’s good night nurse. It is the worst form of stroke there is. It’s what killed my mother 39 years ago. It is a really bad son of a bitch.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Unlike a heart cath, they completely knock you out for this procedure. The last thing they want his for you to snore or hiccup while they are snaking a tiny wire around in the arteries of your brain. A big dose of Fentanyl (Amazing shit!) and then Michael Jackson’s sleeping drug of choice Propofol. Bang you are snoozing in seconds. A tube is jammed in your trachea so you can breath on a machine and a tube is muscled up your pecker so that your pee can escape without you soaking the operating table.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Just wait it get’s better.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">As the procedure was winding down, or so I am told, they were pulling out the catheter and my heart decided to slow down. I mean really slow. They saw this and gave me some atropine and epinephrine to speed me up. Well the drugs sent me into Atrial Fibrillation. The top half of my heart was quivering like Jello. When this happens there isn’t any blood pumped into the ventricles. The ventricles do the heavy lifting work of the heart by pumping the blood out to the body and brain. In response to this quivering, sometimes the ventricles go into overdrive to compensate and start beating REALLY fast. Sometimes upwards of 200+ beats per minute. At this point I am officially in big trouble. They slapped the defibrillator patches on to my hairy chest and back (Thanks for that guys!) and proceed to cardiovert me back into a stable rythem. Some more drugs and the breathing tube removed and I am whisked right up to the Neurological Intensive Care Unit (bypassing the normal post anesthesia care unit). Then the fun begins.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">You see, I am a heart patient and heart patients need to be careful of their fluid intake. During all the fiddling around in my brain they used a lot of IV fluid like 3+ liters or so. When my heart started to loose pumping efficiency all this fluid came out of the blood stream and into my lungs. They saw this coming in the operating room and slapped a BIPAP machine on me to force air down my throat into my lungs since the endotracheal tube had been removed. I was awake and very aware that I was dying. I was breathing at about 50 breaths per minute and maybe getting a shot glass full of air at a time. When you go to the Dr. and he listens to your chest and tells you to breathe in deeply while he listens, he is looking for “crackles” to see if there is fluid in your lungs. Imagine you were crinkling up a potato chip bag in you hands. That's exactly what it sounds like Normally it's very faint and subtle. In my case you could hear it across the room without a stethoscope. Hell I could hear it and it scared the shit out of me. I was so bad off they wouldn’t let Wifey come and see me. Needless to say she was panicked.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">What I had is called Pulmonary Flash Edema and it is one serious bitch.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You hear the words a lot about fighting for your life and battling the disease and so forth, well let me tell you, when you can’t breathe and are coughing up your lungs and crying tears of agony from the pain in you chest while you are trying to get any air you can possibly get to stay alive, you take that saying much more seriously. You actually make the decision on wether to keep fighting or just drift away. When the darkness starts to come to your peripheral vision and things start closing in on you like a dark tunnel it’s that decision time.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was given a pretty big dose of a drug called Lasix. It is a big gun diuretic. When I was a paramedic working on the ambulance we would make sure we only gave it to patients when we were less than about 5 minutes to the hospital as we surely didn’t want someone peeing all over our ambulance. It works that fast and it is vicious. After the Lasix was onboard my foley bag started filling with urine. One thousand CC (a little more than a quart) then two thousand then three thousand CCs all in under an hour. As the fluid was pouring out Caesar’s pee tube I was getting more and more air in my lungs and coughing less and less. After about 3 hours I had passed a little over 5,000 (five thousand) cc’s. That’s more than 10 pounds of liquid that was residing in my body and lungs.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was exhausted and wish I could say that I slept well that night but I didn’t. I was still coughing up gobs of shit and could never drift completely off to sleep. To make matters worse, due to the asinine COVID restrictions they have in place, they threw Wifey out of the unit at 11:00pm as if she was going to become some sort of COVID threat after a certain time. She is a Masters Degree Registered Nurse on staff at that hospital and has had both of her Covid vaccinations already. I’m still pissed they wouldn’t let her stay the night with me. Such asshole policies they have put in place due to this fucking virus.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Wifey tells me to shut up and be grateful that there was such a talented and dedicated staff available to keep me alive. If it were not for her using her connections to get things done and calling in favors owed her you might not be reading this now. The whole event was terrifying and painful beyond anything I have ever imagined. I experienced drowning it it’s worst form. If you are drowning in a lake this agony lasts for a few minutes. For me it went on for hours. When I have chest pain from my heart problems I know that it will be over pretty quickly one way or another. Laying there coughing and drowning in my own fluids for what seemed like an eternity was infinitely worse.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Oh, That’s right, What about the haunted bed, I hear you cry. Well the fancy hospital bed I was in had a special therapeutic air mattress that would inflate ever so slightly every minute or so. It’s supposed to prevent you from getting bed sores or some such horse shit. All it did was freak me out and keep me from sleeping.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">There you have it. How I spent the last two days. I am home now and relaxing comfortably. I am bruised beyond belief from the IVs, arterial lines and blood sugar jabs.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">And I couldn’t care less.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Chuckie Cummins</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: Garamond; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">2/11/21</span></p>Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-46569619704606914382019-10-07T18:23:00.000-04:002019-10-07T18:23:48.755-04:00Education for Sale.....So let me make sure I understand this correctly. Some wealthy families are in trouble for buying their children’s way into some colleges around the country. They are being roasted in the press and media and are even being charged with multiple crimes. Some are going to be doing jail time.<br /><br />Why?<br /><br />You work hard all your life, You invest your money wisely and attain a comfortable level of wealth. Your kid is a spoiled brat but you love them and want to give them every advantage in life that you worked hard for. You buy their way into a college or university. <br /><br />This is wrong how?<br /><br />Before you start your “It’s not fair Chuckie” crybaby shit with me, just remember who you are talking to for a second. I wouldn’t tackle a problem like this if I wasn’t locked and loaded for an argument. I specialize in looking at the other side of issues.<br /><br />You see, we have been doing this same sort of shit with minorities for the last 75 years. 25 years ago the Supreme Court upheld the practice. Minorities who have inferior test scores and education are being chosen to attend college based on their race and prior discrimination practices OVER MORE WELL QUALIFIED STUDENTS WHO AREN’T IN A MINORITY.<br /><br />Read that again. Some inner-city kid will get preferential treatment over a student with superior grades and educational criteria due to the color of their skin. Sorry Johnny, you are the wrong color to get into the college of your choice. We will admit a minority student with weaker educational credentials into our freshman class instead of you. Never mind your hard work and all the time you spent studying and busting ass to succeed. We have to level the playing field IN FAVOR of someone whose family was treated unfairly over a hundred years ago. Are you an alien illegally in this country? We will even pay your tuition for you. <br /><br />You are a student athlete and a minority? Just come on in! You don’t even have to be able to read! Scored a 400 on the math portion of the SAT but ran for a thousand yards in high school? Hell we will give you a scholarship and fix your grades so you can play ball for us.<br /><br />And here we are getting upset when a wealthy couple buys their kid’s way into college? What kind of hypocritical bullshit is this? The government can do this, the colleges do it, but an individual can’t?<br /><br />This is just one more case of artificial class warfare that our liberal politicians dream up, not to mention the Krakatoa class wet dream the news media gets daily reporting on this nonsense.<br /><br />And remember, O.J Simpson went to USC. Why would someone spend a half a million dollars to get their kid into a state college anyway?<br /><br />Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-10723786239178705602019-10-03T16:18:00.002-04:002019-10-03T16:18:58.538-04:00Those JEA Blues...It has taken a while for me to get pissed off enough to start blogging again. But here I am banging away on the old keyboard. Sure the “L” key doesn’t work very well but I will give it a try once more.<br /><br />What has frosted my balls this time is the impending sale of JEA. The Jacksonville Electric Authority. They are the community/city owned electric utility in Jacksonville Fl. If you live in Jacksonville you HAVE to use JEA as your electric water and sewage provider. There is no other public utility to choose from.<br /><br />For some stupid reason JEA is researching their sale to a private corporation. This I have no problem with whatsoever. JEA is a city protected monopoly. What pisses me off is that they are building a brand new headquarters building in downtown Jacksonville. What is that going to cost? They spend millions on advertising about how great their services are on local TV, radio and the print media. Hell they even advertise now on YouTube! Why? It’s not like they are in a competitive market. People in Jacksonville HAVE to use JEA.<br /><br />If that isn’t bad enough, the asshole leaders of this publicly owned utility give themselves millions of dollars every year in holiday bonuses. Now they have the audacity to raise your electric and water rates.<br /><br />So their sale is fine with me…Well almost.<br /><br />The city council would love to sell your public utility, THAT YOU OWN, in order to get a shitload of money for themselves. You see the proceeds from the sale won’t go to you the owners, Oh Hell No. The thieves on the city council will keep the money for more useless city projects. They will give tons of cash to the local football team owner and then they will all fly to London on our dime to watch the Jaguars play football. How many roads are under construction in this city? Yet they keep adding more and begging for more money to build them.<br /><br />We are talking about FIVE BILLION DOLLARS here ($5,000,000,000.00). That’s the quote from the city council. I didn’t make that one up. That is about sixteen thousand dollars per JEA customer. Would they give you free electric and water service for a few years? Will they lower your rates for a couple of years? Hell no. They will piss the money away on pet projects and line their own pockets.<br /><br />This is the same city council that swindled 2 billion dollars from the police and firefighters pension fund, They didn’t pay for any preventative maintenance for Metropolitan Park for fifteen years and now it needs to be scrapped. Yet the local football huckster has built a new amphitheater next door and we have to pay to park there to see a show. Most recently they need millions of dollars to repair our aging schools that they have ignored for the last fifty years.<br /><br />It is a proven fact these people cannot manage the budget we currently have. Are we going to let them steal our property from us for billions more?<br />Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-34729935803046481402018-08-09T14:01:00.000-04:002018-08-09T14:01:27.846-04:00#CALEXIT post #2It's been a while since I bashed those fools in California so I thought I would jump back on the easy target. The low hanging fruit if you will.<br />
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Have you noticed the steaming pile of crap that we call California is pretty much burning to the ground lately? Have you noticed that as the fires grew and more and more federal disaster funds were being sucked out of the United States treasury, that the cry for California to exit the union and form their own country have all but dried up?<br />
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Seems that now a huge disaster, natural or not remains to be seen, has struck the state of confusion they don't seem to mind being part of the United States anymore. Funny how that works. Think of the money the federal government would have saved if we had gone ahead and built the great California wall on the Arizona and Nevada border with California. I'll bet it would have been cheaper than all the fire fighting support we are sending there now.The construction would have employed thousands of people both US citizens and Californians and all the illegal immigrants they want to admit to their new country. They could actually become a giant sanctuary country!<br />
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We would even make money as we could SELL them firefighting aid now. This would easily offset some of the construction costs. We could roll back some of the OSHA safety initiatives as well. Who cares if some of the workers of the NEW California idiot democracy get injured on the job. Their California health system and California Medicaid could handle it. Not the already strained US systems.<br />
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Please see my November 10th 2016 posting for more history on my ground breaking idea.<br />
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But Chuckie, YOU live in Florida. Isn't there federal money spent in YOUR state as well on disaster aid. Yup you are correct. Personally I don't believe in federal disaster aid. It is just another way the federal government has you under their thumb. Gone are the days before FEMA when people planned for disasters and took care of themselves. Personal responsibility has disappeared and the GOVERNMENT is supposed to take care of us all now.<br />
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And sure, Florida gets hit with hurricanes every now and then, however, YOU DON'T HEAR FLORIDIANS CRITICIZING THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND WANTING TO PLACE STATEWIDE BALLOT INITIATIVES TO SECEDE FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!<br />
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I do feel sorry for the folks who are losing their homes in these terrible uncontrollable infernos. I was in the path of a forest fire when we lived in Flagstaff once and it was terrifying. We were insured and we were ready to evacuate if we had to.<br />
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That being said, the point still remains. Being part of a huge country has it's good and bad sides. You take and enjoy the good and tolerate and try and change the bad. Not threaten to leave the entire union.<br />
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When will these dumbasses ever learn?<br />
<br />Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-7557846439890368662018-08-07T16:42:00.000-04:002018-08-07T17:10:41.677-04:00Texting Bastards....Last night Wifey got out of work a little late. On the way home she called me as she normally does to let me know she was on the road. We chatted about work and how our days had went. She asked what I wanted for dinner. Normally we cook and eat our meals at home as it is so damn expensive to eat out all the time. We decided on Kentucky Fried Chicken. A pretty nice treat for a Monday evening.<br />
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Wifey shows up, hands me the KFC bag of goodies and then heads off to change clothes and wash the hospital off of her. I get silverware, plates and towels ready all the things we need to sit down and have a nice peaceful dinner in front of the TV.<br />
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About halfway through the evening news the political advertisements begin. More like the uncontrolled shit slinging that now defines our sacred electoral process. A particularly stupid ad then airs showing Ron DeSantis and how proud he is to be endorsed by that asshole Donald Trump. He is building a brick wall with his infant baby, teaching his kid how to read by showing him a Trump poster, blah blah blah. The only saving grace is this two faced slimy politician is married to one of the hottest chicks around. Her name is Casey and she is a gorgeous brunette. She does local commercials and had a local mews magazine show on one of the tripe spewing news stations here in Jacksonville.<br />
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The only saving grace is that I can mute the TV and just fantasize about the hot chick who is telling me I am the sexiest guy she has ever seen in my bacon Speedo and how jealous of Wifey she is that Wifey found me first.<br />
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While the mute setting is activated, I am jolted out of my aural fantasy by the text alert tone on Wifey's cell phone. We both groan as we fear it is going to be some nonsense from her work day but oh no, It's much worse than that.<br />
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IT'S A TEXT WITH A VIDEO FROM THAT ASSHOLE RON DeSANTIS' CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS.<br />
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How did that son of a bitch get her phone number? It's pretty obvious that somehow these parasitic political vermin checked to see that Wifey is a registered Republican. Then they found out her cell phone number and decided the best way to get us to vote for their candidate was to interrupt our nice quiet dinner and my perverted fantasy with an unsolicited text message. An obnoxious VIDEO message no less.<br />
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And there isn't a thing I can legally do about it. When the politicians put through the federal "Do Not Call" legislation where you can supposedly prevent annoying and nuisance telemarketers and their ilk from calling you, they inserted a clause that exempts political organizations. So the same dickheads who supposedly were doing us a favor by limiting the "Robo Calls" from annoying telemarketers went ahead and exempted themselves so they could violate our privacy without consequence.<br />
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Does that sound right to you? I unknowingly stopped this crap on my phone by registering as a Libertarian. These jerk-offs are not on my primary ballot. All I have to vote for in this upcoming primary is low budget judicial candidates. After the primaries are over, all bets will be off and I too will have to put up with this unwanted garbage on the cell phone THAT I PAY FOR. There is nothing I can do. Complain the the news media? You cry. That won't work as those whores are fed with the same politician's silver as well. All I can do is stop watching TV or use Amazon Prime Video and/or Netflix.<br />
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Wifey and I won't vote for any asshole who calls us to beg for our support at the polls. Maybe I should just send our cell phone bills to these slimeballs who clog up our technical devices with their virulent pablum.<br />
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Hell, that won't work either. These elitist peckerheads can't pass a budget for our country let alone pay their own bills. Why should I dream that they would pay for mine?<br />
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<br />Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-67934926588232854302018-08-06T14:45:00.001-04:002018-08-06T14:49:05.881-04:00The Safe Return of ChuckieIt seems like it has been almost a year since I last put digits to keyboard for my BLOG. Probably because it HAS been almost a year. I know I know, a keen grasp of the obvious I possess.<br />
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The reason is mostly that I have been writing my novel about our vacation and subsequent entrapment in Tortola during Hurricane IRMA. The therapist we were seeing suggested I write down our adventures as a method to come to grips with the PTSD I was suffering from. I was having trouble sleeping and when I did fall asleep I was plagued by horrendous dreams. Things like our boat sinking and my crew and friends getting killed and worse by the hurricane.<br />
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Sure I know what you must be thinking, Big tough adventurer Chuckie suffering from PTSD over a little old wind storm?<br />
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You bet your sweet ass I was.<br />
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Hurricane Irma was the most powerful hurricane ever seen or recorded in the Atlantic basin. The winds that hit the Moorings Marina, where we were hunkering down, were clocked at 208 miles per hour sustained. That was recorded before the eye of the storm came over. The winds may have been higher but the wind instruments were torn off of the building. In the eyewall, the most dangerous part of the storm, there were two tornados swirling about. The National Weather Service doppler RADAR in San Juan Puerto Rico measured those winds at over 385 miles per hour. Two 58 foot catamarans were picked up and thrown around like toys. They each weigh in excess of 40,000 pounds.<br />
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After the roof of our shelter/hotel room blew off where we were now looking at the sky, we made our way (crawled over 150 feet) to our safe spot as designated by the marina staff. It was the reinforced classroom where the chart briefings were held. There were about 20 of us hiding in there when the eye of the storm arrived.<br />
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It was then the water started to rise.<br />
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We evacuated the classroom when the water was knee deep and still rising and fled upstairs to a newer section of the hotel which was oriented more favorably towards the coming backside of the hurricane.<br />
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I will spare you the horrific details of some of the uncontrollable panic and reprehensible behavior that occurred while we were fighting for our lives. Needless to say it was pretty ugly.<br />
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We lived through the storm and made it home after we were trapped in the marina complex for a week. The Moorings did an amazing job of feeding us and protecting us from the terrifying situation that was taking place on the island. The Moorings fed us, sheltered us, liquored us up and kept us informed constantly, they even chartered a plane from Jamaica to fly in and evacuate us to Puerto Rico.<br />
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When we arrived home we found that Sunsail (The Moorings) had even credited us for the sailing time we missed because of the storm!<br />
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And yes, it was so horrific of an experience that it has taken me almost a year to get over it.<br />
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We went back to Tortola about a month and a half ago.<br />
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The island is still in serious disrepair. The people are doing everything they can to try and return their lives to normal. Imagine your house being destroyed to the point that you couldn't find it. Some of these peoples houses were so damaged that the concrete slabs the buildings sat on were torn from the ground and blown away. Sounds crazy and like bullshit doesn't it? Trust me it wasn't. I was there. I saw it.<br />
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So I will be Blogging more now. The political season is upon us and there is so much insane shit going on that I could type for days about it all.<br />
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As for my novel? Well, it will never be published. No one will ever see it. There is a lot of personal stuff written in there. Lots of dark and nasty things about people I thought I once knew and cared for. Their unforgivable behavior and actions are documented in their entirety and there is no need to bring those incidents to light again. I am sure they have, and are, suffering as much as I have.<br />
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Just get me drunk sometime. I'm pretty sure I will freely spew all that ugly nonsense then!<br />
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<br />Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-51211208183196347242017-11-09T10:11:00.000-05:002017-11-09T10:11:31.306-05:00Harvey Weinstein Hyprocrisy<div class="p1">
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I am taking time off from writing my Hurricane Irma Survivor novel to pound his out for my poor neglected BLOG.</div>
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I am sick and tired of hearing all this bullshit about sexual harassment in Hollywood and anywhere else. It infuriates me that people are losing their jobs, spouses and fortunes over allegations of crimes of which their is no evidence and there are no convictions. Last time I checked this was still the United States of America where people are innocent until proven guilty.</div>
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Where is due process here. Sure Harvey Weinstein is probably a fucked up and deeply disturbed monster, but where is the crime in that? Just look at our congress if you are out hunting the mentally disturbed.</div>
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Sexual Harassment is the perfect revenge ploy if you want to get back at someone because there is no defense for it. If you want to ruin someone’s life for whatever silly reason you can think of, just call him a sexual predator or say he spoke to or looked at you the wrong way. You will smear his/her reputation and ruin his/her life and not have to prove a thing.</div>
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I use the his/her tag whenever I remember to use it as I don't want to be called insensitive. (I don't really care) The brutal and honest facts are that women are ashamed of being sexually harassed where most men just enjoy it.</div>
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“But he groped me at a party 30 years ago” To fucking bad. You should have reported it back then. “I was too afraid to report it” tough shit. Who do you think you are coming out of the shadows now to destroy someone else’s life years after the fact because you didn’t have the guts to report the offensive actions when they happened. Just maybe your report and testimony might have saved others from the ensuing humiliations that an unpunished criminal would have caused. You, therefore, are no better than the perpetrator of the crime itself. You are just as guilty, You have only yourself to blame.</div>
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Don’t you love it when some hot shit actress comes out and says that she was sexually harassed in the past by a motion picture producer or director in order to get certain lucrative starring roles in Hollywood and then a whole gaggle of women and men ooze out of their collective holes to jump on the bandwagon? They smell easy money in impending lawsuits and instant tabloid fame with their sleazy accusations which only prove them gutless hacks if you stop and think about it.</div>
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Maybe if you profited off of being a victim of a “Sexual Harassment” crime you should be required to pay back all of the money and benefits you received for said actions. How many hyper-rich Hollywood A-List actors that make millions off of their silly entertainment jobs do you think would be where they are if they didn’t “sleep their way to the top”? This is the worst kind of hypocrisy that I can think of. What if they had to pay back what they earned whoring themselves out for their eventual fame and fortune? Do you think any of this foul smelling crap would make it to your iPhone news feed? I sincerely doubt it.</div>
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If you are compensated in any form for sexual actions you are a whore and technically a criminal: unless of course you are in Hollywood where you just become a headliner and get a gig with Oprah, or a guest shot on the tonight show.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></div>
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Sexual Harassment is wrong and should be REPORTED and PUNISHED. As long as sex is fun and enjoyable someone will try to make a buck off it or use it to their advantage. Hell, just wait until those assholes in Washington figure out a way to TAX it.</div>
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Now can we please drop the subject and get on to more important things in life like why Toblerone candy bars have become so damn expensive and are getting smaller?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-8516507801343296862017-08-12T10:00:00.000-04:002017-08-12T10:10:31.221-04:00Foto By ChuckieOne thing I find particularly funny is the rash of "Professional Photographers" you see these days on social media. Everyone with a digital camera is now a "Professional" I see at least three new ones a day. It seems any pin head who takes one good baby picture or grabs a decent wedding photo immediately decides that they should work for National Geographic, American Bride, or Playboy.<br />
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What's worse is the iPhone and iPad crowd thinking they are the next Ansel Adams or Annie Leibovitz. Every where you go there is some dimwit with a selfie stick trying to look sophisticated while acting like a dumbass in front of his own phone. Ever been 10 rows back at a concert and a squadron of dipshits are holding up their iPads to take a picture or worse video? While the pictures turn out lousy they end up blinding the multitudes of guests who paid a lot of money to see the artist perform.<br />
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Let's get real for a minute here. Without trying to offend you, your thousand dollar cell phone is not a serious camera. It's the new millennium's Kodak Instamatic. Sure some great pictures can be taken with a cell phone but it's far rarer than you might think. Imagine the odds of a albino three legged midget winning the olympic pole vaulting gold medal while wearing a Speedo with a winning PowerBall lottery ticket tucked into his groin. Sure it could happen.......<br />
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While at a concert in Punta Gorda last March, I was approached by a "Professional Photographer" This 20 year old kid had a Nikon CoolPix camera. Pretty nice iron for an entry level digital camera to take snapshots of the kids at Christmas with. He told me he had a 1gb memory card installed and was really proud of it. He could take/store almost 400 pictures on that SD card. He looked like someone had punched him in the stomach when I told him my 128gb card held over 12,000 shots. He disappeared into the crowd, never to be seen again, or so I hoped.<br />
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About an hour later he came by and asked me to look at some of his shots. They were, in a word, terrible. The stage was oriented North/South facing East. The bands were playing in the afternoon so the sun was behind them blasting through the musicians from behind. Every one of his pictures was washed out as he stood directly in front of the bands and carefully composed his shots, LOOKING INTO THE SUN! I almost pissed myself! This "Professional" was shooting into the sun and worse he couldn't figure out what went wrong.<br />
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Once I regained consciousness from laugh induced hypoxia, I recommended that he might want to stand off to the side and take some shots without the sun directly in his face. He said I was a genius and that he would try that. Later I saw him about a hundred yards from the stage taking pictures in the twilight with his tiny little built in flash popping off. He then asked me the most brilliant question I have ever heard. "Should I use my flash when I try to take pictures of the Moon?"<br />
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Professional Photographer? I don't think so. He did give me a copy of his business card in case I wanted to see some of his work on-line. Yup, you guessed it. He had full color business cards printed up proving beyond a shadow of a doubt he was a professional.<br />
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And that's what I have done! My photography business is called "Foto By Chuckie" I even went to Vista Print and ordered my own business cards! My slogan printed below the card's title says, "Occasionally Good Photographs". I am listed as "Camera Pilot/Foto Stooge! My address is listed as Jacksonville Fl, Planet Earth. Next time I am at a function with my camera equipment I will have these cards for all these nitwit Paparazzi in training.<br />
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I just may post one on on my facebook page to judge the reactions!<br />
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<br />Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-52189205321894106072017-07-26T11:07:00.000-04:002017-07-26T11:14:00.506-04:00Back to the Past?<div class="p1">
Back to the Past?</div>
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Hi everyone! I am back after a long hiatus.</div>
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To be honest, I was just lazy. All sorts of great ideas came to mind for my amazing and award winning (well not really) Blog. But again, I was lazy.</div>
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What set me off and jolted me out of my posting hibernation was an article in the British newspaper the Guardian. The title said that Britain is going to ban the sale and use of all internal combustion engine vehicles by the year 2040. You heard me correctly! If your car uses gasoline or diesel fuel in Britain after January 1st 2040 you will be heavily taxed. You will not be able to purchase a gas or diesel powered vehicle anywhere in the country. No mention as to if the ban will also cover farm and construction equipment as well.</div>
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So in the last couple years Britannia, who once ruled the waves and the world, has elected a Muslim mayor of Londonistan, they left the EU and now going to join the Third World!</div>
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What a proud victory for the environmentalists! Soon they will be piloting horse drawn carriages<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>through he streets of London to deliver food, most likely rotten, to their populace! What a cool picture that will make.</div>
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But what about switching to electric cars Chuckie? Are you an idiot? Electric cars are our future. Elon Musk says so.</div>
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No Way, Nope and you believe that idiot?</div>
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Where do you think the electricity to power your car will come from? Most environmental idiots will Say, “Out of the Wall” Well they are about 2% right. The coal and oil power plants burn fossil fuels to generate electricity. Nuclear power plants are out as they give transgender orphan whales breast cancer. believe it or not, Electric cars create more pollution than fossil fuel cars do.</div>
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So now all you are left with is horse and oxen power to deliver your packages from Amazon. And even those are under fire due to the levels of Methane they produce. And all of you vegan assholes get your food delivered in refrigerated trucks to supermarkets that use electricity to keep it fresh. All that food was grown and raised on Diesel fuel. Tractors to plant and harvest the crops, pumps to run the irrigation to water the crops, Trucks to haul the food to your local markets where you purchase your nutritionally void produce to stuff into your politically correct pie holes. You see the ENTIRE WORLD DEPENDS ON INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINES! Without them we would all be dead in a month.</div>
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So England is going to have their population all live in caves and eat what they can forage from their abundant natural resources.</div>
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But Elon Musk will be orbiting Mars on your dime and won’t give a shit.</div>
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Kinda like now.</div>
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</style>Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-16625441845153017252017-01-29T11:44:00.000-05:002017-01-29T11:44:32.635-05:00The TPP.....<div class="p1">
You knew it would only be a matter of time before I had to put fingers to keyboard about the TPP. It’s been the top story in the news lately. You can’t even pick up your phone without someone commenting on the TPP.</div>
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What’s the big deal? I have spent years thinking up the TPP. The final concept came to me just a few weeks ago when Wifey picked up her new insulin pump. The idea is simple, efficient and most importantly will not be effected by the proposed trade restrictions and tariffs with Mexico.</div>
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Confused yet? Don’t worry, all will become clear shortly. All you have to do is keep reading and keep an open mind.</div>
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The Tequila Pump Project: (TPP)</div>
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Did you think I was talking about the Trans Pacific Partnership trade agreement or something? How little you know me!</div>
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I came up with this idea years ago as a way to cut down on costly Tequila imports into the United States. Now that President Dimwit has decided to tax all Mexican imports into the country my idea makes even more sense. A safer and more economical way to infuse felony juice into the American consumer is what we have all been screaming for! </div>
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What we need to develop is an infusion pump that injects Tequila right into the brain. A small catheter could be introduced into the carotid artery. This is connected to the pump where tiny amounts of purified Tequila could be injected into the blood stream that goes directly to the brain’s incarceration center.</div>
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Why drink Tequila and have to involve all the digestive organs just to get the elixir to your body's control center? That’s old school thinking. With this system in place less that a tenth of an ounce of that Mexican pleasure juice could have the same jail inducing effects that drinking 10-15 margaritas causes. No more nausea, vomiting, and best of all, an almost un-measurable blood alcohol reading. You breath wouldn’t even smell of the stuff! “No officer, I haven’t been drinking tonight”.</div>
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The cost savings would be enormous as well. Instead of drinking ten to twelve shots to get whacked you would only use a tiny amount of the elixir of doom. A quart of Tequila could produce maybe 300 plus doses of crime inducing euphoria versus five or six jail terms if you just drank it straight from the bottle. Why attempt to raise the blood alcohol level in all eight to twelve pints of blood in the human body when you only need to target a very small area in the brain. That’s like turning on the whole sprinkler system to water just one tomato plant. Am I right here? We would even be doing the planet a favor as we would reduce the number of liquor bottles clogging up our precious landfill space.</div>
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Best of all, at a party or any social function all you would have to do is press the button on your pump and bang, instant drunkenness. Immediate disorientation with loss of memory and inhibitions when your dumb shit valve gets chemically forced wide open. There could even be a smart phone app that could be voice activated. “Siri, activate felony juice and criminal behavior mode”. Think of the fun you could have if you hacked your date’s TPP system! Talk about a "Bloomer Dropper"!</div>
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(Bloomers are panties for those of you born later than 1979)</div>
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The possibilities are as exciting as they are endless. The only questions are when we can get this implemented and how much will it cost?</div>
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And probably the most mind numbing question of all is “Why did it have to be me to think of it?”</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-89991878324503046652017-01-16T15:19:00.000-05:002017-01-16T15:25:03.378-05:00I Can Feel It Coming in the Air Tonight...<div class="p1">
What is it with the song titles in my BLOGS these days?</div>
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Imagine it’s 79 AD. You live in a bustling city by the sea. An important tourist and commercial city. A center of commerce, art, shipping, manufacturing and culture. Life is good. You wake every morning after the previous night’s debauchery and rise to a nutritious and delicious breakfast then bathe and dress for the day. You make your way to your place of business, but, something is amiss.</div>
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There is the unfamiliar odor of rotten eggs in the air and it seems that there is a light snow falling. The minor earthquakes that you have been experiencing for the last couple of months seem to have suddenly abated. "What the hell is going on?" runs through your mind at 500 miles per hour. Almost as fast as the choking and deadly pyroclastic flow that is coming from the mountain next to your beautiful city is moving. The deadly cloud is made up of rock, volcanic ash, miscellaneous debris and poisonous gasses. All at over five hundred degrees fahrenheit (500°f). It is streaking towards the city, YOUR CITY, at 600 miles per hour killing, incinerating and burying everything in it’s path at the speed of a jet airliner.</div>
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Of course you die. You are instantly killed right were you are standing. That mysterious and fine “snow” that you witnessed falling in the 70° weather was actually volcanic ash. Not ash really, but razor sharp microscopic particles of glass-like rock dust that shredded the inside of your lungs with every breath you tried to take. The snow continues to fall and there is the silence of a grave yard decending upon the city that you once called home. Mt. Vesuvius was a beautiful neighbor. Your home had a magnificent view of it’s gorgeous snow covered peaks. The orange and red hues that covered the mountain when the sun set were breathtaking. Almost as breathtaking as the ash in your lungs that killed you. The same ash that has now has entombed you right where you collapsed. “Maybe somebody will discover my body buried under this twelve to twenty feet of ask/rock in two thousand years” is something that might have run through your mind. It’s doubtful though.</div>
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Why the hell would I type this today? Pretty simple really. I just got back from a one day trip to Seattle Washington. </div>
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WHERE THE SAME THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN ONE OF THESE DAYS! (read it again and again until it sinks in)</div>
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Yes Seattle, That bustling city. Home of Amazon, Boeing, Starbucks, and the 12th Man (which they stole from Texas A&M) You see, Seattle and Tacoma are sitting at the base of Mt. Rainier. A Volcano that the locals will say is extinct and the geologists say is active or dormant at the very least. The geologists even say it has a high potential for eruption. The same category Mt. St Helens is in presently. The mountain was once a beautiful cone shaped beast resembling Mt. Fuji in Japan, until it exploded. And what an explosion it was! Probably about the size of Mt. St. Helens in May of 1980. The resulting structure has reformed somewhat. The classical Mt. Fuji shape is gone and what is left is an active, growing pile of steaming rubble covered in snow three miles high. The structure of the mountain has grown weaker with it’s swelling and pulsing. The snow load on the peak is incredible due to it’s fourteen thousand foot plus (14,000'+) summit. Every now and then you can see steam actually rising from the “Vents” in the mountain. It is a modern day cataclysmic time bomb. A disaster of biblical proportions waiting to happen, again.</div>
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Pompeii had a population of about eleven thousand (11,000) people in 79 AD. </div>
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There are over seven hundred thousand (700,000) residents in Seattle. Tacoma has about two hundred fifty thousand (250,00).</div>
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In Summary:</div>
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There are close to a million people living a few miles from an active and unstable volcano in the pacific northwest. This is a vital and vibrant metropolitan area in the most technologically advanced country the world has ever seen. When I asked a local riding on the light rail train to the airport about it, her reply was “But it is so pretty”.</div>
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Hey wait a minute, Isn’t That where Microsoft has it’s headquarters?</div>
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Who would have thought that a five hundred degree (500°) pyroclastic cloud killing and burning everything in it’s path would have a silver lining?</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-53395180286417276062017-01-16T14:13:00.000-05:002017-01-16T14:13:24.702-05:00It's Only Just Begun..Nope. This is not about the musings of some anorexic pop singer from the 70's.<br />
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It's political. Sorry about that.<br />
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It’s now four days until our new president is sworn in and already the shit is starting to hit the fan. This time it’s coming from all directions simultaneously. Thank you American Journalists.</div>
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The dimwits who voted for Hillary Clinton are still doing everything they can think of to de-legitimize Trump’s campaign and election. The latest, and most hypocritical, battle cry is that the Russians hacked a bunch of computers at the Deomocrat’s headquarters and used the information gleaned to sway the American electorate’s opinions and votes. It is now widely reported that the Russians hacked the Republicans in this election as well. Did they try to sway the election in favor of Donald Trump? Sure. Why not? The deafening cry of “That’s not fair!” is echoing through the land. How dare the Russians do this to our hallowed and sacred election process. We would never do ANYTHING like this.</div>
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Excuse me if I say bullshit.</div>
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BULLSHIT! </div>
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(I feel better now. Thank you.)</div>
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Have you forgotten when our most holy and immaculate president Obama spent a little over 300 million dollars trying to disgrace and de-legitimize Israel’s prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu? After the hostile rhetoric that was daily heaped on Israel by the President and his foul cabinet, the prime minister of Israel (our most important and greatest ally in the entire middle east) Mr. Netanyahu came to visit the United States to straighten things out between two of the world’s greatest nuclear powers. What did our Dipshit in Chief do? He refused to clear up his schedule to meet with his ally. He also condemned Mr. Netanyahu for meeting with the United States congress and began a media campaign in Israel attempting to discredit the current prime minister in his re-election campaign. How is this any different from what the Russians tried to do in our last election? Thank heavens that this is the last year we have to endure Obama’s March Madness bracket picks while the world is going to hell in a handbasket.</div>
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Sure Mr. Trump won the electoral college vote but didn’t win the popular vote. That’s the way our system works. It’s done that way so we don’t succumb to “Mob Rule” I we elected presidents based on popular vote alone we would always have a president who was picked by a small portion of this countries electorate. The huge cites would get all of the campaign funds and attention and it would dilute the power of YOUR vote. Asking the appointed electors to vote against the wishes of they states they represent is not only unethical but illegal in most states.</div>
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Pretty much all of our former presidents have kept quiet about the administrations and cabinet picks made by the next president elect. It's the classy thing to do. It shows their level of maturity and that they were taught to respect their peers. Look at the river of diarrhea that has been flowing from this president's mouth since the November election. For the last eight years every time something went wrong or there was a difficult problem to be solved it was former president Bush's fault. It should be fun to listen to Obama squeal like a gutted pig when every problem in the upcoming four years is laid at his doorstep. Place your bets folks. Will he take it quietly and like a man like George Bush Jr. did? I seriously doubt it.</div>
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If you think that I am ranting against Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and their supporters you would be correct. This by no means is an endorsement of Donald Trump. Quite the contrary, I think Mr.Trump is as qualified to be president as another quasi famous television star, Arnold Ziffle. The only reason he was elected is that his aura and odor is just a bit less toxic than Ms. Clintons. I am don't know if I am more astound or offended or disgusted that he won the election. Probably the best term would be dumbfounded.</div>
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Build a 2,500 mile border wall? Are you Nuts?</div>
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Deport 11 million people? Are you nuts?</div>
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Impose a 35% tariff on foreign made vehicles. Are you nuts?</div>
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Ban immigrants with different religious beliefs from entering the country. Are you nuts?</div>
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It's acceptable to grab women by their genitals? Are you nuts?</div>
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I didn’t vote for either of these pathological liars. Unfortunately, by my living in The United States and being an American Citizen, Mr. Trump will be my president. I don’t like it one bit. But I will support my country and president when needed. </div>
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I will not attempt to actively undermine his office or the duties he is required to perform. He deserves a chance. A chance to succeed or a chance to fail. I will judge him accordingly then. In the meantime, I wish someone would take his smartphone and/or twitter account away from him. Sometimes the best way to get a point across is to keep your mouth closed and your thoughts to yourself.</div>
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Like I am one to talk there!</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-44209581999718425332016-12-20T16:30:00.000-05:002016-12-20T16:30:56.892-05:00No Scents of Direction…<div class="p1">
Black Ice Air Freshener?</div>
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What the hell is going on here?</div>
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I am buying a rare Volkswagen New Beetle in the next couple of weeks. It is a limited edition car painted with Volkswagens “Snap Orange” paint. Volkswagen only produced this color on the New Beetles in 2002. The car is immaculate and has a ridiculously low amount of miles on it. The lady who owned it kept it garaged and hardly ever drove it. Yes, It is one of those rare deals you wished you had grabbed when you had the chance but never pulled the trigger on. The opportunity you always seem to miss.</div>
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Not this time. No siree Bob. I'm going for it. </div>
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So I thought I would go out and grab an orange scented air freshener to put in the car so it smells nice sitting in my garage while hibernating under a nice fabric car cover. Yes, this car will be pampered like none I have ever owned before. I will have it polished weekly and gently rubbed with fine silk and plush cloth diapers by white robbed virgins smelling of lilac. It will only be driven on clear days when birds are happily singing in the trees far enough away to prevent us from being hit by avian shit missiles.</div>
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Yes I am excited about this car! I have to fly across the entire continent to pick it up and drive over thirty five hundred miles (3,500) to return him to Florida where he can retire in the warmth he so richly deserves.</div>
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I will be the envy of many people.</div>
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The problem wth my idyllic fantasy is that I can’t seem to find an orange scented air freshener anywhere.</div>
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I mean NOWHERE.</div>
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All I can find are scents like, Black Ice, Clean Linen, Radiant Berries, Shimmering Wonder and Blue Odyssey.</div>
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What the hell does Black Ice smell like? I grew up in New England and lived in Northern Arizona. I’ve seen more black ice on roadways than most people ever will. It didn’t smell at all. Not one bit. How could you get that in an air freshener? And what the hell is Blue Odyssey? Can’t say I have ever smelled anything called that before. Radiant Berries sounds like something that you would get out of your garden if you lived near Chernobyl. Shimmering Wonder makes me imagine what a hot glitter infused fart would resemble on a cold winter day.</div>
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Whatever happened to scents I can relate to like Lemon, Pine or Cinnamon? What the hell does Cashmere Woods smell like? The only thing I can imagine is how an old grandmother would smell if she was lost in a forest somewhere wearing a sweater. Who would want to spray that around in their domicile? </div>
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If I were going to sell smell good stuff, I would do some serious research as to what the public would want. None of these silly Martha Stewart inspired sissy scents, no sir. If I wanted to attract women I would make scents like Money, Diamonds, or Ferrari. Of course if you were a chick and needed to rely on scent to attract a male you could use Bacon, Football, or Beer scented air fresheners.</div>
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Once again, I don’t understand this modern world. I keep thinking of when I was younger and old people would say, “When I was your age…” Yes I know, phones had dials, records were made of vinyl, you walked a hundred miles a day to school and hybrids were vegetables in the garden.</div>
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What the hell is happening to me?</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-88407637692536148382016-11-10T16:24:00.000-05:002016-11-10T16:24:04.223-05:00#CALEXIT<div class="p1">
Some dumb ass Californians want their state to secede from the United States of America.</div>
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I’m all for it. I’ll support it and I’ll volunteer to work for it. Hell I will even donate money to help make it happen!</div>
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Let’s say, just for fun, that you had a disgusting tumor residing in your body siphoning your vital energy and resources away to feed itself. One day the tumor says it wants to leave by itself. What do you say?</div>
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Yes, I am comparing California to an ugly benign tumor. If you think about it, Californians really are.</div>
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For years California has been infected with far left liberals who have lost all connection with reality.</div>
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Examples? Sure, plenty off em.</div>
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Look at the taxes those fools pay.</div>
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Try to use a charcoal grill to cook a steak in your back yard.</div>
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Big screen TV sizes are regulated due to the amount of electricity they use.</div>
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Water rationing due to all the agriculture that has priority over human use of water.</div>
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Rolling electric blackouts due to overpopulation and not enough energy production</div>
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Sanctuary cities where illegal aliens can live free of prosecution for crimes they commit</div>
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Drivers licenses for illegal aliens</div>
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Free health care for illegal aliens</div>
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And so it goes</div>
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And so it goes.....</div>
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The list of silly ass regulations and nonsense that Californians push and vote for could go on forever. And we (the rest of the country) would be far better off without them. Sure they would be the sixth largest economy in the world if they became their own country, but how much does that number really effect the rest of the country when you factor in how much aid and commerce they would, or wouldn’t, get from the US?</div>
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One of my friends, Geo, thinks we should let Mexico have California back. A great idea, but I am afraid it wouldn’t work. Mexico surely wouldn’t want those idiots back. Where would they be able to dump their riffraff across the border if California wasn’t there? Mexico would have to assume the costs of all these now legal immigrants to their new state that they now don’t have. Their own immigrants would bankrupt the Mexican economy.</div>
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I’m pretty sure Californians would really like to be Americans when the next huge Earthquake strikes the San Francisco bay area and they need FEMA to bail their asses out or when North Korea starts lobbing missiles into the Pacific Ocean off their coast. Maybe that huge super volcano under Mammoth Lakes will go off and what will they do then? The Port of Los Angeles is the busiest port in the US. I am sure all the other shipping ports along our shorelines would love to grab some of that business when we slap some huge tariffs on products that go through that union controlled port. Californian vegetable produce? Hell it’s all picked by Mexicans who wipe their asses with it anyway. Just think of the potential health benefits of a United States minus California. The collective intelligence of the country would rise significantly if California seceded. What about Silicon Valley you ask? Do you really think Apple and all the other high tech companies would stay in California once the US finished taxing the crap out of their products they import into the country? Look at Honda and Volkswagen. They produce products in the US to keep from paying tariffs we impose on imported goods. Do you think that would change?</div>
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We would prosper if California left the union. That huge Democrat electoral state would disappear thereby guaranteeing Conservative and or Republican leadership for the United States pretty much forever.</div>
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In short, Calexit is just another pie in the sky stupid idea thought up by idiots and aggressively sold to the do-gooder morons of the sate who don’t know any better. As much as I love the idea it just ain’t gonna happen. But I will buy a t-shirt supporting them!</div>
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It’s a damn shame really. Think of the jobs we would create by building that wall to keep those west coast infidels out!</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-16349955509152834402016-11-10T13:39:00.001-05:002016-11-10T13:46:47.909-05:00The 2016 Presidential Erection<div class="p1">
Yes I’m cheating. </div>
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I am typing this a couple days after the election is over so I know already what has happened.</div>
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First the obligatory data from November 8 2016:</div>
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Dow Jones Industrial Average 18,259 points</div>
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Gold Futures $1,281.00/oz</div>
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Silver Futures<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span> $18.34/oz</div>
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WTIC Crude Oil $44.60/bbl</div>
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For the last couple elections I have been documenting these indexes here so you my constant reader, can observe our countries progress, or decline.</div>
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You may have noticed that I have been mysteriously absent from the blogosphere during this election. I apologize for this as whenever I ponder the depth of depravity our election system has sunk to I develop very painful and uncontrollable shit cramps and have to run to the biffy for a prolonged episode of explosive diarrhea. You know the kind where you have to drag in the pressure washer to scrub the bottom of the toilet seat with a solution of high temperature water and industrial strength swimming pool chlorine.</div>
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Sorry that was so graphic, but it’s true.</div>
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“Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Gary Johnson” is the slogan on the t-shirt I just ordered. And I really believe it. I did vote for some down ticket Republicans who I thought would do a good job but that’s about it. I left the Republican Party a few years back as I was disgusted by the social and political stands they were taking. To this day I have no regrets.</div>
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Well that’s not entirely true, I regret I couldn’t do more to advance the Libertarian ideals in my state and country. Let me make this perfectly clear (Thanks Dick) I am not a shite Libertarian. An example would be that I do believe the Federal Reserve Bank is evil and should be dismantled. I do not,however, go so far as to believe that each state should be allowed to print their own currency as a local Libertarian fanatic running for office suggests.</div>
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So now the election is over. Trump beat Clinton. </div>
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All this does is verify what we all knew. Hillary Clinton was the weakest candidate the Democrats have ever nominated for president. Donald Trump beat her. Trump was the most vilified candidate the Republicans have ever had. Numerous senators and congressmen as well as a couple of former Republican presidents refused to support or even vote for him! The most hated of the 16 Republican candidates got the nomination and he still beat Clinton. In doing so he even flipped a couple of Democrat stronghold states like Michigan and Ohio. This is all a testament to how pathetic Hillary Clinton really is/was.</div>
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The real loser here is the American public. Not because a perverted, foul-mouthed old man is now our president-elect, but because of the WAY he won. It is now perceived that the way to win an election is to be as disgusting and foul-mouthed as possible. I will bet you anything you like that the next presidential election will resemble more of a professional wrestling cage match or mud wrestling contest in an open septic field than an intelligent discussion of who will rule the free world.</div>
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Maybe we would have been better off if Clinton had won and started a nuclear war with the Russians. At least then we would have a complete and total reset of our values and morals.</div>
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My last word is; Hold on, it’s gonna be a very bumpy four year ride.</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-40853253135867804462016-07-14T20:54:00.000-04:002016-07-14T20:54:47.939-04:00Her Name is Rio and She Dances on the Sand<div class="p1">
I just have to go to Brazil.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Not for any silly soccer matches. I had enough of those obnoxious plastic horns when they played the last World Cup in South Africa. No, I’m not going for the Olympics. I have no desire to watch pre-pubescent 12 year old girls bend themselves around the parallel bars to impress some communist gymnastic judges. If I want to see women bending around a pole I will go to Las Vegas or Whackos.</div>
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I really would like to see the harbor at Rio de Janeiro as it is one of the 7 natural wonders of the world. I have seen the Grand Canyon, I will be seeing the Northern Lights in September. That would leave only four more. But I would have to go to Asia, Mexico, Australia and Africa.</div>
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“But Chuckie, Isn’t that going to cost a lot of money.” I hear you cry.</div>
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Yup. That’s why I want to go to Brazil.</div>
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<div class="p1">
You see, The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta is looking for male volunteers with the Zika virus to donate semen for medical research. So far they have 40 volunteers. They want 210 more.</div>
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These guys get to donate twelve semen samples every two weeks for our government to study how the disease is transmitted sexually. The volunteers would be needed for six month periods.</div>
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But wait. I haven’t gotten to the best part yet!</div>
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Your government is PAYING these volunteers for their semen! That’s right, you heard me correctly! The United States government is paying fifty ($50.00) dollars per semen donation! That is twelve hundred dollars ($1,200.00) a month to sit around and jerk off into a vial that is picked up daily by a currier and whisked off to a lab somewhere.</div>
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Seventy two hundred dollars ($7,200.00) for six months of looking at porn and jerkin your gherkin! And I’ll bet it’s even tax free!</div>
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"But Chuckie, you would have to get the Zika virus wouldn’t you?"</div>
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Sure I would, but I don’t care. I am obviously not going to have a baby anytime soon. I am monogamous and Wifey isn’t going to have a child either. The worst that would happen is I have to choke the chicken with a fever or flu symptoms for a few weeks. For seven grand I imagine I could handle that. (Please forgive the pun)</div>
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So if you telephone me and the call goes immediately to voice mail you can assume that I am either out of the country or taking care of business.</div>
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Taking care of business every day</div>
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Taking care of business every way</div>
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Taking care of business It’s all mine</div>
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Taking care of business and working overtime</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-76272262846825009002016-07-02T09:54:00.000-04:002016-07-02T09:57:20.907-04:00Trapped in the House<div class="p1">
<i>Think of Neil Diamond's <b>"Love on the Rocks"</b></i></div>
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Trapped in the house</div>
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what an ugly surprise</div>
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the garage door spring breaks</div>
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and then your wife cries</div>
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you don’t get no respect here</div>
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when your trapped in the house</div>
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Can’t go to the store</div>
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can’t go to the show</div>
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There’s a holiday sale at Walmart, but you just can’t go</div>
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Your whole life is ruined</div>
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when you trapped in the house.</div>
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First the spring it breaks</div>
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sounds like a shotgun blasting</div>
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suddenly you feel trapped there</div>
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with out any place to go.</div>
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Then you hear the voices</div>
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are they really laughing?</div>
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Taunting you inside your head</div>
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Your trapped at home just go to bed</div>
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stuck behind a half ton door.</div>
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<br /></div>
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You fill out the form</div>
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And wait for the call</div>
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it’s a holiday weekend</div>
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God damn it all</div>
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Looks like your here till Tuesday</div>
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Trapped in the house</div>
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<br /></div>
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You post it on Facebook</div>
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and your friends have to laugh</div>
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your masculinity has been cut in half</div>
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you look and feel like a pussy</div>
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when your trapped in the house</div>
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Maybe the neighbors </div>
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will give you a hand</div>
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And then maybe not</div>
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because its you they can’t stand</div>
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You realize your fucked</div>
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when you are trapped in the house</div>
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How could this happen</div>
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and why is it always me?</div>
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sitting here bored to tears just posting to my BLOG</div>
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That son of a bitch is heavy, I mean it’s REALLY heavy!</div>
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Could I move it with the jack</div>
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try to prevent a heart attack</div>
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Wouldn’t that just be my luck</div>
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WTF……..</div>
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©MMXVI ChuckieTunes inc.</div>
All Rights ReservedChuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-78654090802239104502016-06-21T17:09:00.000-04:002016-06-21T17:09:48.105-04:00No Fly, No Buy, No Way.<div class="p1">
After the recent terrorist attack in Orlando it only makes sense that there are some serious questions being asked. It is obvious that the government is full of politicians trying to score points off of public opinion for the next election.</div>
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One of the serious questions floating around is, why was this asshole allowed to buy a weapon and ammunition after he was investigated by the FBI twice? Wasn't he on the secret “No-Fly List” for a while?</div>
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There is a very simple and straightforward answer that you may not want to hear.</div>
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He was (prior to his death) an American Citizen. He was born here just like you and me. As an American citizen he had the RIGHT to purchase a gun. Period. End of discussion.</div>
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Well not really. He was cleared by the FBI of allegations of anti American behavior and possibly terrorist activity twice. As an American citizen protected by the U. S. Constitution, his purchase of a weapon was completely legal. The background check that was performed at the time of purchase came up clean. It was his right the same as it’s your right to purchase and own a gun.</div>
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Even if he was on a “No-Fly List” he should still be allowed to purchase a gun. The “No-Fly List” is a list of people who are BELIEVED to be a threat to air safety. The vast majority of them have not been convicted of a crime. Even if he was on the “No-Fly List” he was protected by the U.S. Constitution the same as you and me and would be allowed to buy a weapon.</div>
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Hell, Hillary Clinton is CURRENTLY under investigation by the FBI and she is allowed to run for President of the United States.</div>
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This is the scary part. If you start letting the government make secret lists of people they consider to be undesirables and then you start to revoke or limit their constitutionally protected rights based on these unproven allegations you are advocating turning this country into a state comparable to NAZI Germany of the early1940s. Ever hear of the Gestapo or Hitler’s SS? The Soviet Union had a powerful secret police that pulled the same tricks on their citizens. How many people disappeared in the USSR without a trace thanks to the NKVD and the KGB?</div>
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Do you trust our government that much? The same government who listens to and records your cell phone calls? The same government who ordered the IRS to investigate and harass the conservative Tea Party just because they had a different political ideology than the current administration? This is the same government that is trying to control the insurance industry and will soon have your medical and prescription records. Remember when the government was advocating that they should control how much a CEO of a company should be allowed to earn? The same government passed the Patriot Act which allowed the police or FBI the power to enter your residence, search it and leave without notifying you. No warrant needed.</div>
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The Patriot Act was a radical knee jerk reaction to the horrible terrorist attack of September 11 2001. History has shown that every time there is a major strike against or in America we respond by granting the government more and more power to rule our lives in an attempt to keep us safe. More and more of our rights are being stripped away, and we never get them back. You can't legally purchase an AR-15 in Connecticut after the Sandy Hook School shooting.</div>
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Do you feel any safer with the additional freedoms that have been taken from you? Don’t you sort of get the creeps when you see video cameras everywhere you go watching your every move?</div>
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You can’t own a gun in England and they just had a member of Parliament gunned down and killed in the street. Chicago and New York City have some of the strictest gun laws in the world. More people get killed every week in Chicago than happened in the Orlando attack.</div>
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Maybe if everyone was armed this domestic terrorism nonsense would decrease or stop. Would that terrorist (I refuse to use his name) have killed as many people in that nightclub if half of the victims were carrying a handgun? If he KNEW that there was a chance that someone would have fought back and he could have been shot himself would he still have carried out his attack? Isn’t it interesting that all these attacks are taking place in “Gun Free Zones”? Movie theaters, college campuses, elementary schools, bars and gun free workplaces, not to mention gun free cities like New York and Chicago.</div>
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Go ahead and reply to this BLOG and try to make an intelligent argument for gun control. I dare you. Here’s your chance. Try to change my mind. Remember I said an “Intelligent Argument”.</div>
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Meanwhile I am going to go and clean my AR-15.</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-28817183176110971042016-06-17T14:26:00.001-04:002016-06-17T14:26:29.011-04:00When you wish upon a star....<div class="p1">
All you have to do is close your eyes……</div>
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Just imagine how the good folks at Disney are going to profit from all this recent publicity. You can bet your sweet Bippie that those public relations masters are right now trying to figure out a way to make a bucket full of cash out of the recent mauling of that two year old kid from Nebraska.</div>
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I wonder why they don't ask me? You just knew I would come up with a practical, if not horrific, idea to make a buck off of this so called tragedy.</div>
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Welcome to Disney’s Reptile Safari!</div>
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First we would lower the water level in that man made lake behind the Grand Floridian Beach Resort a few feet. Once that fertile and marshy area has a chance to grow wild for a year or two we start to offer alligator hunting tours along the edges of the swamp. All we need are a couple dozen specially outfitted open top Jeeps and two or three hundred AR-15 rifles to issue to guests who wish to partake in a real Florida vacation experience.</div>
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Why not? Disney has Lions and Tigers and Bears (Oh My!) living in the Animal Kingdom park. What’s the difference?</div>
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The guests in the Grand Floridian would be charged extra for the rooms over looking the killing fields. Imagine sipping on a cool, tasty frozen beverage on the balcony of your fifteen hundred dollar ($1,500.00) a night deluxe hotel suite watching tourists with guns exterminate prehistoric reptiles. Romance and excitement in one package!</div>
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The Disney concessionary department would make a fortune off of the free alligator meat the park could provide. Gator tail popsicles for the kids and gator coladas for the adults. Designer one hundred dollar pairs of Micky Mouse ears made from alligator hides as well as boots, shoes and briefcases.</div>
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We would restock the hunting preserve (oxymoron?) with the alligators we trap in our municipalities where they are considered a nuisance species. More trappers would be gainfully employed, cities and towns would be rid of a nasty predatory pest, and poodle owners all across Florida would be able to breathe easier when Fifi is shitting out by the pond in their backyard.</div>
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To counter the rising cost of Purina Alligator Chow, those amazing imagineers at Disney could organize a daily children’s only picnic in the middle of the preserve. Free cookies and snacks as well as wading and swimming with the gators. They could even offer discounts for more nutritionally satisfying obese children. Why not? People pay hundreds of dollars to swim with Dolphins all over Florida. The same folks shell out a hundred bucks a day or more to ride roller coasters in the various parks to scare the shit out of themselves. This new innovative park satisfies both emotional needs at the same time. Children from different countries could attend picnics in different parts of the preserve assuring gator meat that is pre-seasoned. Hot & spicy gator that was in the hispanic children’s area, Italian gator meatballs and spaghetti from children from southern Europe. The possibilities are endless and lucrative. </div>
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The money the hunting trips generate would more than pay for the legal fees and compensate the lousy parents who let their kids wade in a pond in Florida after dark. Want your take your kid swimming in tropical Florida at night? Just stop at the pool you walked by where swimming IS allowed and let them pee in there. </div>
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Who said Disney doesn’t have something for everyone?</div>
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Sing it with me...</div>
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“It’s a Cruel world after all, It’s a Cruel world after all, It’s a Cruel world after all, it’s a Cruel Cruel world”.</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-10976243670677150572016-06-14T11:23:00.000-04:002016-06-14T11:23:07.565-04:00The Carbon Conspiracy<div class="p1">
Every time I sit down in front of my computer I get inundated with environmental bullshit about all the carbon in the atmosphere and on the Earth due to human beings and climate change. It’s on the television, radio, billboards on the highway and even arrives in my mailbox outside as junk mail.</div>
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I don’t know where all the experts on carbon have come from. Surely they can’t all be materials scientists or have even taken high school chemistry. My guess is they are all pretty dimwitted folks who think they are standing up for an intelligent and meaningful cause. I guess you might think that is somewhat noble of them but imagine being a hunter and bagging a Peterbuilt instead of a deer.</div>
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The reason carbon has got my goat this morning is that the amount of carbon on the planet has not changed in the last few hundred years. Yup, you read that correctly. The amount of carbon on the planet right now is actually a little less than when the dinosaurs roamed around.</div>
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What? Are you kidding Chuckie? Have you been smoking crack or overdosed on pop tarts or something?</div>
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No, No, and No.</div>
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You see, Carbon is an ELEMENT. it is number 6 on the periodic table. It cannot be destroyed or created except by a nuclear reaction or a particle accelerator (theoretically anyway) All the carbon on Earth came from interstellar nuclear reactions on the Sun and/or distant stars. There is as much carbon on the Earth as there was a billion years ago before humans ever started to evolve.</div>
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The reason I say that the net amount of carbon on our planet has gone down is to account for the minuscule amount that we have sent into outer space and other planets and moons in our space program. We have sent more carbon to our moon than human beings have ever created on Earth in our entire existence.</div>
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That being said, carbon can bond with and be liberated from other compounds. It happens all the time. Every time you use your fireplace or fire up the BBQ you are moving around carbon atoms. BUT THE AMOUNT OF EARTH BOUND CARBON STAYS THE SAME! Driving your car or even eating a pizza does the same thing.</div>
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Three and a half billion years ago (3,500.000,000) this planet was a semi liquid blob of molten rock measuring in at thousands of degrees. Since then we have had numerous periods where the planet was a little hotter and a little colder than it is now. The Earth was even frozen completely over with ice at one point. All this before there were Republicans around to blame it on. We, as a species, are not even a pimple on the ass of the Earth in the grand scheme of things.</div>
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Assuming we can change the evolutionary future path of this or any planet is the height of human arrogance and unmitigated greed.</div>
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Yes Greed. You don’t think anyone is making a buck off of this Global Warming/Climate Change nonsense? Is Al Gore’s house bigger than yours? Do you fly around in a private jet like Michael Moore? Do you have a Junk Science show or special on a cable channel like some of these high paid phonies (read Bill Nye) do? </div>
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Wow! If you really are that stupid, just send me all your money! I will promise to say things that will make you feel all warm and fuzzy.</div>
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I live in Nigeria.</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-81019810573161491862016-06-11T11:02:00.000-04:002016-06-11T11:02:40.179-04:00The Ideas Keep Coming...<div class="p1">
After somebody (yes, just one person) read my BLOG yesterday on how human beings should have invented Spray On Toast by this point in our evolution, I have become motivated to submit more of my brilliant ideas to our collective human existence.</div>
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Take the kitchen for example. Every modern kitchen has one dishwasher. Clearly that’s not enough. Anytime I want a pot or pan or special glass for my evening lager it’s in the dishwasher. If I ever build a house my kitchen will have two dishwashers. I will also have a urinal in the kitchen as well. Whenever I get a single drop of water on my hands when I am cooking something I have to stop to go pee. This inconvenient biological design flaw always seems to occur at a critical moment in a recipe that I am either making or developing. Sure you may think it’s gross, but I would wash my hands when finished and would keep it clean and fresh smelling.</div>
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My bathroom would have a Biffy Bubbler (see earlier BLOG posts) and a pressure sensitive switch built into the toilet seat to activate the fart fan. Said fan’s intake would be much closer to the actual “scene of the crime” and would exhaust into the attic of the house thereby killing any bugs and mice that may reside there.</div>
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The thermostat for the house would be in the bedroom not the front hall. No one lives in my front hall. I spend most of my time inside in the bedroom in bed. I would have a temperature probe between the sheets tied into the the cooling and heating system of the house to maintain the optimum sleeping environment.</div>
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My computer would be tied into a ultra-high voltage power line connected to my “Spam Zapper” device. When I turn on my computer and check my email, this accessory would automatically electrocute any asshole who sends me spam about acquiring a Russian Bride or tries to sell me Viagra from Canada.</div>
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I haven’t decided if I want a flame thrower or an electronic device to obliterate any drones that fly over my property. Both sound like a lot of fun. Maybe the infrared carbon dioxide LASER that I am building would do the trick, although it would be hard to aim and the collateral damage could be significant. Now wouldn't that piss off the FAA! A 100 watt infrared LASER that could burn through granite mounted in my backyard when I live 5 miles form an airport. Are those black helicopters I hear coming my way?</div>
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Is this shit too much to ask for? How hard can this stuff be?</div>
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And don’t get me started on my disgust with the food industry. It makes no sense whatsoever that we still don’t have aerosol spaghetti noodles. God damn you Chef Boyardi. Some asshole invented Silly String. Why not Chuckie’s Aerosol Pasta? Think of the lives we could save by dropping CAP cans over starving countries. What an amazing idea for emergency hurricane and disaster kits. School lunchrooms would never be boring again! Think of the ease and convenience of making dinner when on a camping trip. Obviously the pasta would be biodegradable and non-toxic, unlike that plastic shit in Silly String, so it could be sprayed at weddings without killing innocent birds like rice does. Maybe that's why Chef Boyardi hasn't come up with (or stolen) the idea yet.</div>
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Non-toxic aerosol pasta in a can? Whooda thunk it?</div>
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My brain hurts. I am going to go take a nap now.</div>
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-29807848368516702082016-06-10T11:50:00.001-04:002016-06-10T11:57:13.127-04:00My Next Brilliant Idea...<div class="p1">
I have been racking my poor little brain trying to come up with inventions that will benefit mankind after I am gone. Let’s face it folks, life is a zero sum game. We all are going to drift off eventually to Flying Spaghetti Monster Heaven one day so we might as well make every day count and do whatever we can to bolster our individual legacies.</div>
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I know I am a cynical and sarcastic bastard. This BLOG obviously belabors that point. I have tried to uplift mankind with a few positive suggestions in my tenure on this planet. The Raisin Powered Nuclear Reactor is just one of many ideas I have come up with to make life more fulfilling for my fellow human beings. The five gallon bucket of Pepto-Bismol is another example I can think of off the top of my head along with the EPC (Electric Powered Canoe). All are chronicled somewhere in this collection of crazy thoughts I have posted.</div>
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It’s time for another earth shattering idea.</div>
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I think we should have “Spray on Toast” Yes, you heard me right. A chemical that comes in a pump spray bottle that will toast bread. The more you pump the darker the toast will be. No more standing around the kitchen waiting for your old crumb filled electric antique to finish heating your bread. Just a couple pumps and you have instant breakfast. We could even offer butter flavored SOT (Spray on Toast) as well as different preserve flavorings to add variety to your breakfast routine.</div>
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This could be a simple form of flavored acid or base that would react with the bread to brown it. Once the reaction is finished the chemical would be completely spent and inert leaving no after taste or residue. Think of all the time we would save every morning if we could just spray our bread on the way to work or school. We would make sure it was water repellant as well so our hamburger buns don’t get soggy from that delicious meat juice.</div>
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THIS IS NOT A CRAZY IDEA! </div>
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We have robotic vacuum cleaners running around our houses sucking up stray crumbs and cat hair, there are people who spend thousands of dollars on bottles of water when the entire planet is covered in free water (doesn't it also free fall from the sky?) We even have spray on tanning spooge meant to make it seem as if we have time to go to the beach, and my personal all time favorite, Squirt Cheese.</div>
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Hell, people are buying electric cars that poison the environment far more than petroleum fueled vehicles trying to impress their friends with how “Green” they are. Just think of all the energy we would save not running our toasters every morning. A thousand watt toaster running for 5 minutes a day (four slices) in one hundred million (100,000,000) households? You get the picture.</div>
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Maybe we could get that thief Elon Musk to slap the Tesla name on it and sell a couple million of them for five hundred bucks, half in advance pre-production of course, before he comes out with a cheaper model after he has cornholed you the first time.</div>
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We could call it the Tesla Toaster S2.<br />
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<br />Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6239925847417434993.post-64365144161724800802016-05-30T13:11:00.000-04:002016-05-30T13:12:14.360-04:00"A Planet Where Apes Evolved From Men?"<div class="p1">
Try to follow along with me on this one.</div>
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#JusticeForHarambe.</div>
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What a bunch of stupid nonsense.</div>
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For those of you who are living under rocks and don’t have internet access on your Idiot Phone (iPhone), Harambe is/was a 400 pound gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo.</div>
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Some dumb ass sorry excuse for a parent took their eyes off of their four year old child while on a trip to the zoo in Ohio. (Imagine that, someone in Ohio doing something stupid, go figure) The child was “inquisitive” and climbed down into the enclosure where the gorillas live. In order to save the child (only God knows why) the zoo keepers were forced to shoot and kill a 400 pound primate before it could seriously harm or kill the intruder.</div>
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"Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!"</div>
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So now some jerk-off, with more technology than intelligence on Twitter, thinks the zoo acted irresponsibly when they killed the monster gorilla and he created the hashtag #JusticeforHarambe. Stupid people all over the world are now outraged this animal was killed to save this human child and think the zoo employees should be reprimanded or even fired.</div>
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Bullshit. </div>
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I don’t know how twitter even works, but I am pretty sure I wouldn’t want MY name attached to such putrid moronic internet garbage.</div>
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Some say they should have shot the beast with a tranquilizer dart. Others say they should have dumped in a ton of Purina Gorilla Chow and distracted the monster away from the kid. Sure, a dart full of Vodka that takes fifteen minutes to work wouldn’t piss off that big Ape and send him on a rampage. Didn’t you see Pierre Boulle’s masterpiece? Tranquilizing that gorilla, Harambe, Macgilla or whatever his damn name was, could have sparked off the Great Ape uprising that would have the potential to end all human life on this planet. </div>
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Personally I would have held out for a Taser gun or something with more entertainment value.</div>
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The bottom lines are: first, hold on to your damn offspring at the zoo if you don’t want him/her wandering off and getting mauled. Secondly, how dare you come down on the zoo officials for shooting the animal when the child could have been killed. Imagine for a moment if it was your brat. All the bleeding heart animal rights activists would probably shoot the ape themselves if their precious spawn was in danger.</div>
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Of course you knew I would have an idea or two on the subject.</div>
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If you are a parent and you don’t keep your kid firmly under control in potentially dangerous situations, you are probably too stupid to have children anyway. If all these dangerous zoo animals had the chance to eat a few low IQ visitors a week we would all be better off anyway. For us intelligent and pragmatic people there would be fewer dumbasses walking around we have to deal with. The zoo would save a ton of cash buying Gorilla Chow, and there would be fewer people to vote for Bernie Sanders in the up coming election farce.</div>
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I don’t know which is a better candidate for the Darwin Awards. It’s a close one with people who jump into wild animal cages or us Americans with the pathetic choice we have been presented with for our next president.<br />
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Chuckiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08578704035652080455noreply@blogger.com0