Thursday, April 30, 2009

Beauty and Brains……………..

The best part of being an American is that anyone who thinks up a great idea and acts on it can make a ton of money and be happy.

Take for example the Miss America pageant

Any idea who won this year? Never mind that it is a hopeless waste of time and beauty. Forget the fact that it should be done naked so we can make sure that our national icon of beauty doesn’t have a birthmark that looks like Florida on her one of her breasts (or worse a demonic tattoo of some sort) And why not require chest x-rays to make sure we are getting 100% USDA Grade A premium kosher meat without fillers or additives?

The best part of this years beauty scam is that no one knows who won! It would suck to be crowned Miss America when the runner up makes a statement which is not politically correct and steals all your thunder.

Regardless of your opinion on Gay marriage you have to admit that the hauntingly beautiful Miss California stole the show and is going to make millions off of her personal beliefs while the real Miss America is going to get a hundred bucks a pop for opening Wal-Marts across the country. Don’t get me wrong, Katie Stam, Miss America from Indiana is gorgeous as well. She’s just not as SMART as Carrie Prejean the current runner up from California. It’s a shame that there isn’t a strategy component to being Miss America.

So while the runner up babe is going to be the spokesperson for the National Organization for Marriage at millions of dollars a year our current Miss America was in Talladega Alabama trying to get all the redneck NASCAR fans to stop staring at her breasts and acknowledge that she really is someone important.

Is this a great country or what!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Plot Thickens………….

Imagine a new novel about a president who is in trouble. His policies that in the beginning looked like salvation to a desperate electorate are starting to look like the death of capitalism in his country. The Dow drops 3,000 points in his first 100 days. The majority of his cabinet nominations resign for income tax violations. Piracy on the high seas is at record levels. The Middle East and Muslim world is getting ready to explode in civil and region wide religious war and the border with Mexico is being over run with drug dealers and uncontrolled gang warfare.

Now the president and his secretary of state just got back from a conference in Mexico to discuss a way to stop the violence and all these drug related killings on both side of the border.

Did anyone see the movie Wag the Dog? Go rent it today. It is a movie about a president who gets into trouble and hires a team of Hollywood producers to invent or concoct a phony war to act as a diversion to what’s really going on.

Enter Swine Flu.

One confirmed death on American soil to date (April 29, 2009 1345 EST) and that was a child from Mexico who came across the border and died in a Houston hospital. One hundred (100) cases reported in the US so far.

In 2005 according to graphics Fox news just showed, with data provided by the CDC, more than 63,000 people died from the flu. That’s just the regular flu! That’s better than 172 people per day for the normal flu that grips the nation every year! Here we are freaking out over one 22 month old Mexican kid who was infected in Mexico and died here? The news just said that the state of Texas just cancelled all high school football games for the next two weeks? You have got to be kidding me. What’s going on here?

Gerald Ford tried the Swine Flu diversion when he was president. It didn’t work. His problems were over blown by the democrat opposition. He eventually lost his reelection bid.

Would it be so unfathomable that the news about this minor flu outbreak is being over blown by the liberal news media and being fanned by the current administration? Will our president be able to put on his tight fitting super hero leotards and swoop down and fix this current dilemma? What will we fall for next?

Sounds like the plot for a great comic book instead of a novel…….