Friday, January 2, 2009

That Damn BCS System........

I was going to post some smart aleck remarks about how I think the BCS is a complete waste of time and should be dropped from college football .

However,

After Texas Tech's  ass kicking at the hands of Mississippi I'll just sit here in the corner with my mouth shut licking my wounds.

Dammit.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Night Before Christmas..........

Twas the night before Christmas

And I’m stuck in the Lab,

Could be worse I suppose

say in the morgue on a slab.


I look at my watch and see midnight is near

The label printer goes off and

my heart’s filled with fear.

 

A stiff in the unit needs blood work tonight

I get to go jab him, what a delight


I approach his small room

as I have done so often

and then there’s that sign

Droplet  precaution.

 

Gloves gown and mask soon I am adorned

I then approach the patient

whose face looks quite scorned


My hands are a shakin.

The tourniquet is a poppin.

His blood fills the tube.

Oh God no it’s stoppin!

 

His forehead is sweaty

His brow becomes wrinkled

Oh no there’s that smell

I’m sure he has tinkled!

 

I apologize for the hang up

and explain it’s the tube.

He tells me where to put it

and not to use lube.

 

I get another needle

and approach his bed

He then quietly informs me

“Miss again and you’re dead”


This time the tube fills

I don’t miss a drop

and back at the lab

they now want a blue top

 

So back to the floor

with my cart still in tow

I draw the blue top

and as I turn to go

 

The nurses gather round

those blue scrubbed vultures

The doctor they say

just ordered blood cultures!

 

It just isn’t fair

this phlebotomist chants

I feel something warm

I’ve wet my own pants

 

I start to feel cheated

I look in my cart

I need two more bottles

before I can start

 

So back to the lab

to get more supplies

My shift has just ended!

and tears fill my eyes

 

I smile cause it’s over

Damn do I feel great

and then I learn

my replacement is late.

 

The next night before Christmas

where will you find ole Chuckie?

Plastered and smelling of Tequila

We should all be so lucky!