Friday, January 3, 2014

I Don't Buy It…….

Has anyone noticed that commercials on the television are now getting dumber, racier and even more disgusting by the minute?

First we had the last election. All of those nasty attack ads have opened the floodgates for just about anything to be shown between and during our favorite programs.

One of the stupidest ads is the homeless looking, long haired, moth eaten fellow trying to sell us a phone plan from Vonage where we can get cheap telephone long distance by using our broadband internet connection as our phone service. They even say that there is no computer required. Do you know anyone with broadband computer access to their house without a computer? Who is this flea bitten dirtball who dresses so poorly and why should we listen to him? Crazy Generous? I call this crazy stupid.

How about all the gym and spa commercials? They have the same problem as all of the Caribbean resort commercials. There are no fat or ugly people in them. I would love to go to Sandals or Club Med. We can afford it too. I just would be uncomfortable around all those "Beautiful People" Show a few average folks, a couple of older folks or a few fatties and just maybe I wouldn't be so intimidated.

Those commercials are just annoying and insulting. The ones I object to the most are the downright disgusting and nauseating ones.

Order a months supply of catheters for free from Liberty Medical. The last thing I want  to see or even think about is some old person sitting on the crapper shoving a plastic tube up their urethra so they can pee into a bag. I feel sorry for these people I really do, I just don't want to see one of those nasty damn things on my 60" TV while I am eating spaghetti.

And even worse, one of the TV stations here is advertising for a "Dick Doctor". He offers a solution for sufferers of Erectile Dysfunction on the local NBC affiliate. He stands there in a white lab coat telling you he has a treatment that he guarantees results while you are there in his office. So not only do I get to picture standing there in a doctors office naked trying to sport some wood, I get to wonder how he does it. Surely he doesn't have a team of Victoria's Secret nurses there to help you raise your periscope.

Actually, what he is peddling a drug called Muse. It's been around for a while. It's an intra-penile suppository that you shove down Mr. Happy and then you rub him between your hands until you get the desired effect. If you don't like that method, you can take the injections. You heard me right. You finally have scored a date with the hottest, sexiest lady you have ever seen. Dinner, an expensive show, dancing, and then back to your place for an erotic and romantic encounter. "Be there in a second darling. I just have to give myself an injection into the base of my penis." You hear a scream, the door slams and you are standing there naked, towel holder standing straight out, wondering what you are going to do for the next 4 hours. Besides the obvious of course.

This physician pays for television advertisement time during the six o'clock news (6:00) on the NBC network in a city of over a million people. It just makes me want to barf every time I see it.

You would think that such a hypersensitive society like ours would at least take a stand against some of these disgusting and offensive commercials.

I just quit buying products whose commercials offend me. I know it's not going to change anything, but at least my conscious is clear.