Monday, March 7, 2016

The 2016 Presidential Erection….

After playing nice for the last few blog posts trying to hoodwink my new curling friends into thinking I am a nice and normal guy, it’s time to get back to my cynical and analytical roots that have made my blog the International phenomenon it once was.

I am thinking about doing my 2016 election analysis in a couple of parts. Basically like a Batman serial but more exciting.

I think I will start with the Democrat party first, but where to begin? It’s sort of like being at camp when you dropped your fathers expensive flashlight down the hole in the outhouse. You can see it shining down there, but do you go in and get it? Do you hold your breath and crawl down there or do you try and fish it out? And the ultimate question is, “Will it be worth it if and when you do recover it”?

The Democrats are as screwed this year as the Republicans are. They did it to themselves just like the Republicans did. But they don’t seem to mind the odor.

Nobody with an ounce of integrity or common sense likes Hillary Clinton. She is a dishonest, lying, racist, sexist con artist  with a vagina. And to be completely honest, that fact is in doubt as her husband seems to go out of his way to find other ones where ever he goes. Granted some of the women he has “Captured or Conquered Bill Cosby style” are pretty hot looking, the fact still remains. Something is making him look elsewhere. He can’t be satisfied at home. The email scandal and the whole world disintegrating on her watch as Secretary of State must have the Democrats scared to death that she will win the nomination.

With the field of 16-17 Republican candidates running this year it is obvious that they are going to get clobbered news coverage wise.  The Republicans will suck up the majority of the free publicity the news channels and networks are going to give the election. So the Democrats had to think of something fast. Someone figured that if they had a second candidate run against Hillary they could make it so that there would be conflict and news worthy content to send to the press every day. “See we have a race to cover also” So they found the most liberal and crotchety old fool they could find. Someone whose views are so far out there that no one would take him seriously and would give Hillary an easy target to squash in the polls and keep the news from being so lopsided coverage wise in favor of the Republicans.

Enter Bernie Sanders from Vermont.

An admitted socialist believing and spouting some of the same views that convinced the good and unsuspecting people of Germany to freely elect Adolph Hitler in the 1930s would be perfect. No American with an ounce of brains would ever consider voting for him. He is the perfect idiot to let Hillary and the Clinton Machine chew on as a pre convention snack.

Except no one told Bernie Sanders. He mobilized the younger voters to support him. You know, the folks who are more obsessed with their iPhones and twitter accounts than vaccinating their children against deadly diseases. The same kids who have never seen a war in their lifetimes against a real enemy who fought back against us. Snot nosed, know it alls who have never seen a dial telephone. (I never said Bernie was stupid. Even the dullest arrow can hit a target sometimes)

So now the Democrats are really in a pickle. Sanders is surging in the polls because the ignorant, foolish, and uneducated are allowed vote, Hillary is under investigation by the FBI for multiple felonies and campaign finance anomalies. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Joe Biden is waiting in the wings to swoop in like some sort of Super Hero to save the party and win the White House. Yup, the same Joe Biden who once asked a crippled man in a wheel chair to stand up and take a bow at a campaign rally for Barack Obama. (Remember where you heard this first)

Yes my faithful and constant readers, this is going to be a fun one to watch. The terrifying part is that regardless of who wins we, the American public, will lose. We will lose badly. Our freedoms are and will be stripped away from us, government intervention into your lives will increase and the politicians we elected to serve us will continue to exercise more and more control over our lives until we are THEIR servants. Not the other way around as the constitution written by our founding fathers warned.

Brave New World My Ass.