Saturday, March 19, 2016

My Foreign Policy Solutions.

Since everyone is only capable of saying “Anyone can point out the problems. What are your solutions Chuckie?” I thought I would tell you some of my brilliant ideas for fixing the messes we are in now.

I’ll start with Foreign Affairs first.

Run from the Border.

The first thing we do is stop all foreign aid to Latin America for a year or two. We take all that money and build our wall and hire a shitload more Border Patrol agents. Once we have the wall secured, we inform our neighbors to the south that we will turn the faucet of money back on once they get serious about helping us stop the illegal drug trafficking into the United States. The money we send them only goes to the corrupt politicians in power down there anyway. Hit em where it hurts and maybe things will change.

North Korea, Lil Kim and Syria?

Simple. We have a couple missile tests of our own. Fire an ICBM from say Montana towards North Korea. Have the ten MIRV warheads be unarmed and bracket the country. Maybe the thought of 10 hydrogen bombs raining down on his cities and countryside might dissuade that dummy from rattling his saber. We also place Patriot Missile batteries in Japan and South Korea. A few on warships patrolling the off the coast of North Korea could shoot down any missiles tests they decide to have in the future.

We could do the same thing to Syria. Land a few empty missile warheads in a few ISIS controlled areas and let’s see what happens. If they don’t get the message replace them with enhanced radiation warheads and kill everything alive there. Even bacteria. Then we march in and clean the place out, loot all the resources and let them rebuild their region themselves. It worked on the Indians. Why not there?

Russia and the Ukraine Crisis?

Simple. We build my Trans Poland Pipeline I previously outlined in another BLOG post. We then place missiles and troops in Ukraine and Poland to defend our Nato Allies. We get increased American shipping, We SELL our excess natural gas overseas thereby creating thousands of jobs, Secure Eastern Europe and everyone is happy, except Russia. Fuck them.

The Cuba issue?

Fuck them as well. We stop all this nonsense about opening up trade with Cuba. We BLOCKADE their ass until the Castros are gone and they have free and democratic elections. We will not support them or help them in ANY way as long as those human rights abusing animals are in power. No cruises, golf courses or tourist money gets in at all. I would even make it a no fly zone so other countries couldn’t get in there to help those low life dictators as well. Once those murdering assholes are out of power we can deal with them as civilized human beings.

International Gateways?

I would make it so that there would be only a few ports of entry into the United States. Say London, Paris, and maybe one in Germany. Only a couple in Africa as well. If you want to fly into the US you have to go through these specific airports to do so. We build secure processing facilities there and make it so we can control who actually comes here. We could check backgrounds, medical status, and potential terrorist activity. Imagine how safe and secure we could have been when SARS or the Ebola virus was floating around. Same thing with South America and the Caribbean. Shut off a few key entry points and your house is secure. I lock my doors at night. The country should do the same thing.

The Canada Problem.

What? There is a Canada problem? You bet your sweet ass there is. We start taxing the shit out of Canadian tourists coming to America. If they don’t speak English we double the fees.  All of the RVs that swarm across the border in the fall to escape the Great White North are a huge missed opportunity for us to make some quick cash. Where else are they going to go? It’s not like they have any other easily reachable borders to cross. We could make a lot of money off of the amazing Canadian Medical System that sucks so badly all of their citizens come to the US for health care. We place a special Canadian/foreign medical surcharge on all procedures performed on non US citizens. That will teach them to go south of the border like our drunk, horny soldiers and schoolboys do with Mexico! Let all this money fund the Great Wall of Canada! After it’s constructed we then dump that revenue into our social security system. Let Canada pay for our retired citizens!

As you can see, I have single handedly solved all of our State Department’s major issues before lunch. The ironic part is I didn’t even have to set up a private Email server to do it! Yes, I am that good.

I should be the new voice of World Control.

2016 Presidential Erection. Part II….

Well let’s see now, since I penned part one of this saga Marco Rubio has dropped out of the race leaving three contenders for the Republican nomination. I suppose I will start with John Kasich.

Mr. Kasich is the Governor of Ohio. The reason you have never heard of him is that no one knows who he is. Pretty obvious to me! And yes you read that right. A Republican Gov. in a union infested, liberal cesspool state like Ohio. To me that disqualifies him right off the bat. To “Get Along” in a state full of overpaid crooked union vipers must prove that you have a ton of dirt and unholy shit buried in your past somewhere. I have watched the debates and if I hear him pontificate about how he was there when the budget was balanced one more time I will scream. As of today, Kasich has 143 delegates committed to him for the first vote during the convention. He needs 1,237. He cannot get enough delegates to win the nomination! He is staying in the race hoping that Trump doesn’t reach the magic number and he will be crowned the nominee by a more rational thinking set of delegates. His nomination would assure Hillary Clinton wins the general election. But that doesn’t seem to matter to him. This is an ego issue for Johnny. Someone must have kicked sand in his face at the beach when he was younger.

Ted Cruz, a U.S. senator from Texas, has 423 delegates pledged to vote for him so far. Unlike Kasich, he can mathematically win the nomination if he sweeps all the remaining primaries. He seems to be a two faced, politically motivated fence straddler who’s opinion can be bought or traded away with the changing wind or opening of a wallet. His obstructionist views and opinions have made it so his own party can’t stand him. Only a couple of his fellow Republican senate colleagues have endorsed him. It is also fairly clear that he has been the king of dirty tricks during the election. On numerous occasions his staff has sent out tweets and emails saying that his opponents were conceding the primary elections and dropping out of the race. To the millions of idiots who live and breathe by what comes across their stupid smart phones, this appears to be gospel. Sure all is fair in love and war, but do you really want someone who stoops so low to get elected to be in charge of the country for the next 4 years? All this while purporting to be the moral and religious conservative that America needs to get us back on the right track. This guy is just another sleazy television preacher with bad hair and funny clothes begging for your money while making ridiculous promises to the dimwitted masses.

And since we are on the subject of assholes, We now are left with Donald Trump. Trump has 678 delegates to the convention. His shallow and sweet smelling message of “We will make America great again” sounds cool to the average voter who doesn’t know any better. This guy is a huckster plain and simple. He bitches about illegal immigrants stealing American jobs but has used them in the past to build his business empire. He has run four companies into the ground, then declaring bankruptcy for them thereby letting thousands of workers lose their jobs. He then says “I just used the existing laws to my advantage”. The problem is, you can’t do that with the American government. His attacks and ugly statements towards women and minorities will insure the Democrats elect Hillary Clinton as our next Felon in Chief. Trump is self funding his campaign. He says he could raise millions to finance his run. Bullshit. The big Republican donors have and will run from him like the plague. HIs campaign relies on free publicity. How does he manage that? Pretty simple really, He acts the fool. If the village idiot takes his pants off downtown during rush hour it will make the news the first couple of times he does it. Same with saying something controversial and foolish in public. That gets old after a while. Start a riot or encourage violence during a political rally and you are guaranteed top billing during the next news cycle. What's next at his rallys when the violence gets old? Live sex shows? Human sacrifices?

With pissing off and offending all of the female electorate, slandering all of the Hispanic and minority voters, and alienating the Republican mainstream, there is not a chance in hell of Trump defeating the Democrat nominee and becoming president.

The only prayer the Republicans have of winning in 2016 is for the FBI to quit dragging it’s feet and indite and prosecute Hillary Clinton for her crimes against the country. Remember General Petreus? He let his hot biographer girlfriend look at a few notebooks full of his personal memoirs and he was prosecuted and court-martialed. Hillary’s offenses were thousands of times more serious and nothing is being done. If elected, she may become the first president in history to have to pardon herself.

The bottom line here is that we are screwed no matter who gets elected and it’s our own damn fault. 

We have let this happen to ourselves.