Tuesday, March 15, 2011

“Lurking for millions of years…”

The recent seismic events affecting the island of Honshu have jolted me out of my blogging funk.

Yes Fan’s, Chuckie has returned.

The Japanese earthquake disaster can be broken down into a few distinct phases.

Phase 1 was the earthquake itself. Unprecedented in modern times, never before has a developed civilization undergone a disaster of such biblical proportions. Except for maybe Pompeii, and that one really sucked.

Phase 2 was when the Tsunami washed ashore. Water weighs a little over 1,800 pounds per cubic yard. Moving at 45 miles an hour over land this 30 foot high wave brushed aside anything in its path easily. It drowned anything that lived through the initial quake jolt.

Phase 3 is the ongoing atomic scenario playing out at the Fukushima Dai-chi nuclear power plant. I say atomic to differentiate between the fission and fusion processes related to nuclear energy. If you don’t understand the difference maybe you should have paid a little more attention in science class in high school instead of banging cheerleaders and/or football players. I am sure all the dope you smoked didn't help much either.

The destruction that has occurred is beyond imagination. The potential for health problems if those reactors melt down and release a cloud of radioactivity into the atmosphere is also beyond comprehension.

So as long as we are dealing with beyond imagination scenarios, I submit for your approval:

Phase 4

“Lurking for millions of years, encased in a block of ice, evil incarnate, waiting to be melted down and to rise again.”


Godzilla has torn up Japan 28 times since the Castle Bravo thermonuclear test at Bikini atoll in 1954. Hell, he even made it to New York City recently.

Imagine how much fun that skinny obnoxious prick Anderson Cooper from CNN is going to have with that news story.

Thanks to Blue Oyster Cult for the quote and remember where you heard it first.