Thursday, October 8, 2009

Morning Sunshine……

Chances are one of the most talented and beautiful women on the planet has said this to you at one time or another.

Yes, I am talking about Robin Meade of Headline News’s morning show

Gorgeous, intelligent, vivacious with a twinkle in her eye, she could tell you the world is ending and you would still feel warm and fuzzy hearing the horrific news.

Wifey, understandably, hates her. I’ll bet half the women in America hate her as well. I’ve noticed that 95% of the women on the planet hate the other 5% who are a size two or smaller.

Today Robin told me that the economy was getting better because the first time unemployment numbers were 30,000 (thirty thousand) less than last week. She even winked at me when she said it.

Sneaky Bitch.

If you analyze these numbers a few things might surprise and scare you.

For example:

If a half a million people are filing new unemployment claims every week we are looking at close to two million new unemployed people a month. This has been going on for almost a year. And thirty thousand (30,000) less this week means things are getting better? Are you kidding me?

Doesn’t this mean that the pool of employed people who are eligible to be fired is getting smaller? This means the percentage of working people getting the axe each week is actually growing.

Unemployment, for the most part, is paid by the employer who let you go. Sometimes the government steps in to help. And if you were fired for cause, like pissing off your boss or stealing from the company, you get denied. So these numbers you hear on the Boob Tube (Pun intended) don’t even account for the assholes were fired for being assholes.

After meeting my best friend Joe, I learned how long, and expensive, thirty seconds of television time can be. This morning Robin spent three minutes pushing her merchandise. She has a new book out, coffee mugs and T-shirts for sale.

Maybe we should have a few of those big ugly older Russian women who dress like Sergeant Shultz doing our news.

At least the content they are spewing might have more relevance to you than the "newsbabe’s" plunging neckline…..

1 comment:

Joe TVBoob said...

Too bad :30 sec of TV time is CHEAP nowadays.. on CNN's morning hour, a t-shirt and mug may cost more than the time she took to sell you on them.
As for the jobless rate: it's about time Chuckie swallowed the koolaid and realized that life in these United States is improving, the recession is over, healthcare is on the verge of being saved, and we all need a swine flu shot, lest we die.