Tuesday, April 14, 2015

MY Latest Brainstorm...

It’s happened to everyone at one time or another. You have Blue Corn Flakes or some other high fiber cereal for breakfast. A healthy lunch with high fiber bread and let’s say beef bologna and cheddar cheese in your sandwich. Then a nice dinner of a lean steak, corn on the cob and a high fiber salad.

You kiss your beautiful wife good night and then go to sleep. Seems like a perfect day right?

I’m not done yet.

The next morning you awaken to birds singing, The smell of fresh coffee and maybe even blueberry pancakes on the stove. You head off to the bathroom for your morning constitutional and then it happens.

You sit down and start to push. Your bowels are straining and you begin to make some really funny faces. All of a sudden you fire out a turd about the size of a golfball and it splashes down not unlike a fat guy doing a cannonball from the high dive at a swimming pool. Your butt gets soaked. Hopefully you didn’t pee before launching this poop missile. You say some choice words, dry yourself off and low and behold you fire off another one!

Kinda ruins your whole morning doesn't it?

I hate this and yes I have thought of a solution.

Have you ever seen the high diving competitions on TV where the divers jump into a pool where there is compressed air making bubbles in the water? The bubbles break up the surface tension of the water making for a softer landing for the diver. Surface tension is the invisible “film” on top of the water that allows water bugs and lawn clippings and fly fishing dry flies to float on top of the water. If you break this up the water is softer and doesn’t splash as much. It’s not unlike the film on pudding or a thin layer of ice on a frozen lake.

So my idea is to manufacture a “Biffy Bubbler”. It is a toilet bubbler that will generate thousands of small bubbles in your commode while you sit down to do your business. It will be on a pressure switch so it only bubbles when you sit on the seat. It can be either 12 volt or a 120 volt plug in system. You could even get a kit to make it solar powered for those of you who are environmental nutcases. There could be a system to attach the bubbler to a tire pump so you can get exercise while you pinch your morning loaf. Eventually all the commodes in the world could have small holes in them and an air hose connection to allow whichever system you choose to be installed.

I hope to have a prototype available soon.

You can thank me later…

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