Just like the opening scene in Apocalypse Now, I was trapped in a disturbing flashback the other day. Surprising as the only acid I have ever taken is vitamin C and aspirin. The world was chilly damp and dark. Fog swirled around me and my tent in the woods. I heard the insane laughter of hundreds of intoxicated maniacs wildly acting out some animalistic ritual in the distance.
The pungent odor of incinerating swine flesh filled my nose and stung my eyes. I blinked my poor peepers as fast and as hard as I could so that I may witness the horror first hand. My tear filled eyes focused on the vision I had feared most of all, the stuff of future nightmares.
A pig roasting on a spit surrounded by lots of cheering and drunk figures having a great time.
When I awoke, terrified and soaked in sweat, from this vision, I was alone in the dark confines of my bedroom. I was compelled by some strange force, not unlike Richard Dreyfus making towers of mud in his living room, to logon to my computer and check my email.
There it was, hiding next to the Viagra ads, wedged in under the Gevallia coffee maker spam. It is the object of my nightmares and my most magnificent obsession.
The invitation to the next generation of ChuckieFest. One of my closest (and most disturbed) friends, I will refer to him as Sir William, Is reviving the the ancient ceremony. It has been reborn as BillyFest 09. It will take place the first weekend in April. Yes, Right after my birthday.
If you would like an invitation and information sheet, just email me for it. firstname.lastname@example.org I will send a current one right out.
And don’t say I didn’t warn you………….