“Uncle Chuckie, Tell us again about the Twinkies, please?”
Well Children, it all started a long time ago, So long ago
no one really remembers when or how. Twinkies were just always there. We all
envied the kids who had those little cream filled golden cakes in their lunch
boxes. They were the ones with the cool parents.
People Loved their Twinkies. They were individually wrapped
in plastic and they were stuck to a little piece of wax coated cardboard so
they wouldn’t get smooshed on the shelf.
When you opened the packaged and pried the cake off of the cardboard, you would get to lick the
sticky cake off the cardboard. That was the best part!
People used to do all kinds of things with Twinkies. They
would bake with them, freeze them for future use, dip them in chocolate, some people even performed horrible experiments
on them. http://www.twinkiesproject.com/
The best thing anyone ever came up with was the FRIED
TWINKIE.
The sweet and sticky crème filled cake was dipped in a bland
batter, not unlike onion ring batter, and deep fried in 350° oil for a couple
minutes. What this did was form a hard shell around the cake and caramelized
the sugar in the cake and filling. It was a gooey delicious mess that left you
craving a half gallon of cold milk and, you guessed it, another fried Twinkie.
Truly this was America at it’s greatest.
But trouble was looming for the Hostess company who made the
Twinkie. The evil, money grubbing unions moved in and started demanding higher
wages and ridiculous pension demands on the company. Other companies were
making snack cakes and gaining market share. Hostess was forced to declare
bankruptcy to protect themselves from their creditors while they desperately tried to
reorganize their business to survive.
At this point, the fools in the baker's union decided to
strike. Yes children, you heard me right, the fools that run the baker's union
decided to stop working and picket the company who was in bankruptcy and
trying to keep their jobs safe. Hostess told the union that if the strike kept going
they would have to close the
factories and fire everyone in the company.
And that’s what they did. Eighteen thousand (18,000) lost their jobs a week before
thanksgiving. The union people not only lost their good jobs, they filed for
unemployment and medicaide so they became a burden on the whole country’s
economy.
“How could someone be so damn stupid Uncle Chuckie?”
Well kids, I honestly don’t know. Some people are just to
stupid to be alive, but as long as the government keeps these voters alive we
will be saddled with a lot more stupid shit like this.
Would you like to try one? I went and bought a hundred boxes
and hid them before the government stepped in and made it a crime to hoard and
collect Twinkies.
What a damn shame……
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