Saturday, May 18, 2013

Farewell to Originality……..

Yes my friends, original thinking is a thing of the past. Why try and use a little imagination when it takes so few calories to plagiarize previous ideas and scripts. Worse yet, take a thriving series of movies and TV shows that have proven to make buckets of money and screw them up.

Of course I'm talking about Star Trek.

Don't get me wrong here, I am a fan, I liked Kirk as the captain,  So he killed his wife, big deal, Spock and Scotty were good, Sulu and Chekov with Bones, and Uhura was hot. Something about flying around space, shooting up the bad guys and screwing the hot women seemed so….Right. Some of the spin offs were OK. I started to lose interest when we stopped using phasers and started to try and reason with the enemy. I got turned off when they tried to teach us moral lessons instead off forgetting their space condoms when screwing Orion slave girls. I love that green skin. A shame Wifey won't do that for me.

Captain Janeway and an American Indian first officer? Give me a fucking break.

The new Star Trek movie series shows promise. The character development is spot on. The casting is the best I have ever seen. Pine and Quinto are actually perfect. The ship is modern and oh so cool. And the writers should have their balls cut off. REPEAT: THE WRITERS SHOULD HAVE THEIR BALLS CUT OFF.

Every time a Sic-Fi writer loses his ability either through age, drug use or just plain writers block, they fall back on "Time Travel" This allows them to use old ideas, sometimes footage, and cheat the public out of an original thought and eventual script.

After this Star Trek that Wifey and I watched last night ( the first of the latest series) Romulus has been blown up years before Star Trek TOS ( The Original Series) comes around. We now have no Romulans!  To make matters worse, these same asshole writers went back in time and imploded Vulcan! VULCAN FOR GOD'S SAKE! So the later series episode Amok Time where Spock gets horny and kills Kirk can't take place, The Romulans can't develop the cloaking device which the Klingons acquire later on. And Spock is banging Uhura which negates the first interracial kiss on television between William Shatner and Nichelle Nichols. The future is bleak for the entire franchises continuity, and us rabid fans who have shelled out the money to keep it all alive for so many years.

I didn't even like the time travel episodes in TOS like the Gary Seven episode which starred a young Terri Garr, (Yowsa!) or the Guardian of Forever episode with Edith Keeler trying to stop WWII played by Joan Collins (Double Yowsa!)

And it's not just Star Trek writers who have no originality anymore. Future movies in the works are another Godzilla, Dirty Dancing, Peabody and Sherman, Short Circuit, Popeye, Escape from New York, Carrie, The Birds, Top Gun, Exodus and another Dracula.

Yes we are going to see the New Star Trek movie tonight. It's going to cost us $17.50 each to see it in 3D. I hope it's worth it. I'll have my $450.00 Klingon Home World Leather Jacket with me to celebrate. How many fans do you know that have one of those? I'll review it here in the future.

Hollywood needs a big fat enema. Right after the one we administer to Washington DC.

Now THAT I would pay twenty bucks plus to see…….

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