Friday, October 4, 2013

Tastes like Chicken$&^# to me….

This week the government of the world's remaining superpower was brought to a screeching halt because some of our elected officials couldn't pull their heads out of their asses long enough to take a breath.

It seems that the Republicans are pushing this effort to punish the population for an unpopular law they passed a few years ago that is going to bankrupt the country pretty soon. The Democrats want the law to go through so that every uninformed, indigent, unemployed and unwed mother will keep voting for them.

The result is that my anniversary trip next week down the Blue Ridge Parkway is going to get all fucked up. The Blue Ridge Parkway is a National Park. All of the National Parks are being closed because those assholes in Washington can't make their minds up and pass a simple bill. Simple bill my ass, it's just the continuing resolution to fund the bankrupt government is all.

So the parks are closed, some old war veterans can't get to see the memorial placed in their honor in the nation's capital, and the Panda Cam has been shut down.

Now just a God Damn minute here, The Panda Cam has been shut down?

You heard me right, That was the lead story on 6:00 news here in Jacksonville Florida, a city of over a million people. All they could find in the entire world that they felt was worthy of a minute and a half (eternity) of prime time television news was the Panda Cam's closure. They even interviewed people in the street for God's sake.

I couldn't give a shit about the Panda Bear. Sure they are cute, I saw a couple of them at the SanDiego Zoo a few years ago. There were people standing there weeping and climaxing all over the place looking at an animal that is to dumb to survive on it's own in the wilderness. Even when put on the endangered species list these creatures can't survive. They are pretty much too stupid to fuck or they roll over and squish their babies once the squirt one out after they do finally figure out how to fornicate. We even spend millions of dollars artificially impregnating them.

And I thought they tasted terrible as well. I went into Panda Express for a hearty lunch one day only to find out that they don't serve Panda meat at all. It's just the same old chicken, beef and cat and dog that all the Chinese restaurants around here serve. Maybe our silly government ought to sue them for false advertising and use the money recovered to pay off the national debt that is owed to, you guessed it, China.

And besides, how do we know the Panda Cam was photographing a real Panda anyway? Are you so sure that a government that spies on it's own people, records our cell phone calls,  lies about it's own finances, kills people with drone strikes, and turns the other cheek when a President admits to having an affair and soiling an intern's dress with his Presidential Spooge, would not place an animitronic bear in a cage for a webcam? Our government pisses away a lot more of our tax dollars on far stupider ideas than this.

Maybe we should have a septic tank cam?

We could place it in the US Congress......

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