Saturday, October 5, 2013

Newton, Is that you?

In 1980 I bought my first Apple II computer. What a cool machine that was. It had 4K of RAM and no disk drive. That was 33 years ago and now I  am finally fed up with Apple's Bullshit.

I have purchased something from just about every product line Apple has ever produced. I managed a company that serviced, sold and supported Apple products. I have converted hundreds of people from die hard IBM clone users to the Apple way of thinking. I never bought an iPhone as I thought, and still think, it's absolute insanity to pay that much money for a phone. I don't play that "keep up with the Jone's" nonsense. I am not defined by the gadgets I buy. I don't care about looking cool. I'm not that shallow.

And now Apple has taken a big, steaming hot dump on my head. Thanks a lot you hip California assholes.

You see, when the iPad was first announced I was like a kid at Christmas. I had magazine pages featuring this new gizmo cut out and I carried them around in my wallet. I bored the hell out of everyone I knew with my iPad obsession. Silly behavior for a 49 year old man, but everyone's bell is rung by different things.

I finally got my new toy about 6 months after it came out. It was and is amazing…..for the moment.

It has turned out that Apple is more interested in the iPhone market and in order to keep up with all the new fancy applications that iPhone users need to out cool each other, they have had to upgrade their operating system. It's the same OS that is used on the iPad.

So therefore my iPad won't run a lot of the applications that also run on the new iPhone. When an app like Motion-X GPS Drive, the coolest and best GPS navigation program for the iPhone and iPad, upgrades to run on the new iPhone it won't run on the old iPad.

And as all the current apps I have downloaded and used for the last couple years are upgraded, some of them won't work either.

The exciting and really shitty part is, I will not know which apps work until I need them and try to open them.

That's technology for you. I understand progress, I have an original iPad and Wifey has a brand new iPad third version. Her's will run a while longer I hope. I guess it depends on when the next version of the iPhone is released for all you stupid, mindless people who have to have the newest and coolest iPhone to play Angry Birds on.

And Apple's official response when I contacted support about this? Their answer was "Sorry, there is nothing we can do for you"

So there I am, sunk with a  four year old machine that is going the way of the Newton all because you people out there who have to have a new iPhone every year to out asshole your friends, or to make your kid look cooler in school than some other asshole's kids.

I hope your new iPhone irradiates your genitals so you are unable to breed and pollute the world with another generation of your shallow, inferiority complex infected spawn.

The next time you are lined up outside the Apple Store to buy another overpriced phone, I hope some one comes buy and throws a live hornets nest in the middle of your technology circle jerk.

Meanwhile the hunt for a new tablet continues.

No comments: