Monday, November 3, 2008

The Eyes Have It………….

I went to the eye doctor with Wifey today. We drove into town and filled out the new patient paperwork. I was led to the back office where this nice young lady did a bunch of high tech tests on my eyes to check various things. I suppose I passed them as I was sent to another room to await the doctor. 

The eye doc was a nice, fairly good looking lady in her early thirties, She was sweet as can be as she dilated my eyes with the drops from hell. I read the letters on the chart. She looked deeply into my eyes, to look at my retina, and informed me my dreaded diabetes had not messed with my eyes yet. When she finished with me they brought back Wifey to do the same thing to her.

They had separated us for a reason.

Those of you who know me can just imagine me trying on bathing suits in a store or being forced to eat broccoli not smothered in four pounds of Cheese Wiz. Either event I would immensely prefer to buying new glasses.

I was now sitting in front of a woman who while being nice, was scaring the crap out of me. She handed me a pair of frames and wanted to know what options I wanted in my new glasses. To be honest, our insurance isn’t that great when it comes to bifocals. Yes, Chuckie is an old man. 

Her job was to rush me through the buying phase, the big money phase, of the doctor visit while I can’t see and am separated from my lovely and calming Wifey. So far I was into them for $10.00 for the exam and free frames if I chose to have them do the glasses. My cost to get out of there alive with a new pair of glasses? $179.00 That’s right, one hundred seventy nine dollars. That’s after the insurance paid over a hundred dollars of the bifocal up-charge. The total without insurance would have been $290.00! I grabbed Wifey and we escaped $50.00 poorer with a pair of clip on sunglasses for her and two prescriptions in hand. 

Wal-Mart would make the same glasses for me for $169.00. Damn straight Skippy! If I am going to buy five cents worth of injection molded plastic frames designed by some French faggot designer, with a couple bucks worth of CNC milled plastic lenses, well I am going to buy them from Wal-Mart and not from some huge, scary, Shrek-like man eating woman at the eye doctors office. 

I feel better now. I’ll just take my pill and go to sleep……..

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