Coerced Retraction?

Well the plot has thickened.

I just received an email from the folks at the restaurant where Mr. Shatner and his entourage ate and left without paying their bill. 

In the email they were quite upset and related to me that Mr. Shatner’s crew HAD paid his tab and left them a “very good gratuity” Apparently they also gave out two $100.00 gift cards to winners of a poster contest that was held so their day was a positive day cash register wise.

Apparently they never realized that I was going to publish the story they told and are afraid of negative feedback, or the whole event was fabricated and meant to be a great story to tell customers as they stopped for dinner. I'm not sure which is true. Their email also said that they didn't appreciate the negative attention my blog post created and had already had a documentary film crew cancel visiting their establishment.

My post was up for 27 hours total and had 18 individual visits. A dozen of which are people I personally know. So out of the remaining six people who saw my post one was a documentary film producer who decided to cancel his meal plans at said establishment? And all this happened on a Saturday afternoon in Holbrook Az from my little blog posting?

That sounds overly embellished as well. 

So it seems I have been duped. I related an honest story as it was told to me and the party of 10 people at our table by our overly enthusiastic waiter. I have since removed the offending story as the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt an honest business struggling to make it on America’s “Mother Road”.

I will also, as a courtesy, remove any references to their establishment in the forthcoming book that is being written about our Route 66 travels. The review that we had prepared of their establishment was extremely favorable and it’s a shame it won’t be seen. As offended as they are about being mentioned in my blog, it pales to compare to the bad taste left in my mouth after being openly and publicly lied to by their employees.

As for you readers, I have documentation of the related incident including statements, dictated and recorded by our waiter and the gentleman at the cash register. They were more than happy to let us pay for Mr. Shatner’s lunch and thought the idea of me posting it on the internet was funny.

Everyone who wonders why I carried that dictaphone with me everywhere should now understand.  It would seem pretty stupid to make false statements to a person holding a recording device who asked you to make a recorded statement for him.

It’s a shame an over zealous waiter needed to fabricate a story such as this to entertain his customers. You would think the history of Route 66 would provide plenty of stories to relate rather than slander a public figure.

Raisin Fusion?

While goofing around on the internet recently, I have uncovered a disturbing trend. I think it comes from the lack of science and mathematics being taught in our public school systems.

The amount of “Junk Science” floating around the internet is staggering. Everything from cleaning up the ocean and electric cars to solar powered roads, man made climate change and recycling. Everyone has an opinion or belief that they are absolutely convinced can and will change the world. No amount of factual data will convince these new unqualified experts they could be wrong or mislead.

It seems the internet has spawned a new form of fiction that has a huge readership. If you can make something believable, no matter how impossible or stupid, you can become an internet sensation. Never mind basic physics or simple things like gravity and friction. All you have to do is find a silly cause, make up an even sillier solution and hit the send button. Every scientific genius on Facebook will share your idea and you will become instantly famous. If enough uneducated people hit your site, it will go “Viral” and may even get picked up by the mainstream media. That ensures the cycle will continue.

I guess this is just a natural human need to search for and maybe even achieve your personal 15 minutes of fame. Myself, if I have to be remembered for something I would hope it wasn’t for something stupid. Sure the toaster sized home nuclear reactor I am working on sounds like a good idea. After I am gone and it’s proven just how far fetched and idiotic an idea it really is, would it do my memory and legacy any justice? Do I want to be remembered as an idiot? Can I prevent that anyway?

When you put ideas out on the internet you are potentially reaching every person on the planet. Those thoughts are there forever (unless you are Hillary Clinton). You can’t get them back, scrub or sanitize them. Why doesn’t anyone think before they post such nonsense? All they achieve is world wide attention of their gullibility. 

The next logical question is: “But Chuckie, Look at the shit you post in your blog?” Fair point. The only difference here is no one READS my blog and I am acutely aware of what I post and my reputation. And I don’t care.

My Raisin powered home nuclear reactor will solve the energy crisis, reverse man made climate change, repair the drought damage in California and power your home. The raisin farmers will get hugely rich and the new world currency will be the Raisin.

If we mass produce this device, everyone of us would become their own private utility. We could sell our excess power back to the utility companies and the non believes would then be supporting us. We could even get the government to sponsor a tax break for buying one of these stupid inventions. Sort of like they do for electric cars.

It’s a simple process really. The toaster sized, brushed stainless steel box would sit on your counter. Every day you would drop a raisin into the hole on top and it would convert the organic material into electricity through the magic of nuclear fusion (or some other little understood process) The only “Waste Products” that it would emit are electricity, water and Velveeta cheese. We would use the electricity to power our computers for the internet and our Nintendo systems, the water we would mail to California and we would use the Velveeta to make broccoli palatable.

Maybe I can get some huckster like Elon Musk to market my idea, sell it to Congress and make a bazillon dollars from research grants. Meanwhile, look for more discussion about this project on the Weather Channel and the Internet.

Both are equally full of shit these days……….

MY Latest Brainstorm...

It’s happened to everyone at one time or another. You have Blue Corn Flakes or some other high fiber cereal for breakfast. A healthy lunch with high fiber bread and let’s say beef bologna and cheddar cheese in your sandwich. Then a nice dinner of a lean steak, corn on the cob and a high fiber salad.

You kiss your beautiful wife good night and then go to sleep. Seems like a perfect day right?

I’m not done yet.

The next morning you awaken to birds singing, The smell of fresh coffee and maybe even blueberry pancakes on the stove. You head off to the bathroom for your morning constitutional and then it happens.

You sit down and start to push. Your bowels are straining and you begin to make some really funny faces. All of a sudden you fire out a turd about the size of a golfball and it splashes down not unlike a fat guy doing a cannonball from the high dive at a swimming pool. Your butt gets soaked. Hopefully you didn’t pee before launching this poop missile. You say some choice words, dry yourself off and low and behold you fire off another one!

Kinda ruins your whole morning doesn't it?

I hate this and yes I have thought of a solution.

Have you ever seen the high diving competitions on TV where the divers jump into a pool where there is compressed air making bubbles in the water? The bubbles break up the surface tension of the water making for a softer landing for the diver. Surface tension is the invisible “film” on top of the water that allows water bugs and lawn clippings and fly fishing dry flies to float on top of the water. If you break this up the water is softer and doesn’t splash as much. It’s not unlike the film on pudding or a thin layer of ice on a frozen lake.

So my idea is to manufacture a “Biffy Bubbler”. It is a toilet bubbler that will generate thousands of small bubbles in your commode while you sit down to do your business. It will be on a pressure switch so it only bubbles when you sit on the seat. It can be either 12 volt or a 120 volt plug in system. You could even get a kit to make it solar powered for those of you who are environmental nutcases. There could be a system to attach the bubbler to a tire pump so you can get exercise while you pinch your morning loaf. Eventually all the commodes in the world could have small holes in them and an air hose connection to allow whichever system you choose to be installed.

I hope to have a prototype available soon.

You can thank me later…

All About Cookies...

This whole news capturing, religious freedom nonsense in Indiana is over cookies. You heard me right, GOD DAMN COOKIES!

It turns out some people in Indiana went to a bakery and ordered some cookies that had rainbows on them for a homosexual get together. The owner and his deeply Christian family chose not to make the cookies for the group. They felt it violated their religious beliefs. Add a few lawyers and a political consultant or two and this stupid shit spiraled out of control. The media jumped on it and now every special interest group thinks they are going to be discriminated against. The new Indiana law doesn’t allow discrimination. It merely allows a business to not be bullied into making decisions contrary to the owners personal religious beliefs. Pretty simple really.

I suppose the Gay group who wanted those cookies had no other choice than to buy them at that specific bakery. I am sure there are no other bakeries in the city who could make cookies. They were just cookies with rainbows on them. What if they were for a child's birthday party? How did the the bakery owner know they were for a same sex couple/group/organization?  Is this really a fundamental right that has been violated? Who are we kidding here?

This whole thing sounds like a clever set up to me.

Suppose we consider the converse situation?

You and your same sex partner own a bakery. One day a group of rough looking bald guys in leather jackets come in and order ten cakes saying "All Faggots Must Die"or "Kill Queers". Do you serve them? What if you are of the Jewish persuasion and you get an order for 10 dozen cookies with swastikas on them? The potential for extreme examples here goes on forever. Say a Hindu eatery being forced to sell bacon or worse beef? Where do you draw the line? Does every group that squeals the loudest get what they want?

Of course this can be traced back to religious nut cases and the news media who will take anything they can find and whip it into an earth shattering crisis just to make a buck. 

Government needs to stay the hell out of business and business needs to stay the hell out of government.

Period.

And now every self righteous business owner from Apple's chief asshole Tim Cook to the Mayor of San Fransisco and the Governor of Connecticut are threatening boycotts of Indiana because they respect the rights of business owners over the sensitivities of Gay people. The NCAA is even jumping on the free publicity bandwagon. You can bet your last dollar it will be a lead story on the national news tonight.

The last thing anyone should care about is who boinks who and why. It's nobodies business. If you openly broadcast what you do and are proud of it, then you get to take the consequences.

This is just more liberal vs conservative bullshit being stirred up in front of the next election cycle. The media is already asking potential candidates how they stand on this "important" issue. News reporters are now asking where the White House stands on this subject. I wish I was running for office. I would be glad to answer this question in public, on the news. I am sure they wouldn't air my views in prime time.

Mind your own business assholes...

Real Life Risk...TPP part 2

With the establishment of the TPP, a second part to my World Peace/Domination plan is needed. Although controversial, this plan will work and kill a bunch of ugly birds with the minimal amount of stone throwing.

The first thing we need to do is either arm Israel to the teeth and go in and wipe out ISIS and scare the shit out of Iran or abandon Israel totally and threaten the shit out of Turkey.

If we arm Israel and get Neutron Bomb serious with ISIS, we get rid of that silly Islamic terrorism threat once and for all. We would secure Israel and have troops and weapons in the region to protect the Bosphorus Straits. This would also put the fear of Allah into Iran and force them to behave until the next gutless, tree hugging Democrat was elected President of the United States.

If we abandon Israel, they will act on their own to take care of the ISIS and Iranian problems while we let Turkey know that we will drop them from NATO and leave them to become the latest Russian peasants standing in line for toilet paper and a monthly loaf of bread. We would still be able to close the straits with air power from nearby bases in NATO supporting countries and we wouldn’t have to deal with Turkey acting like they are in charge. Come to think of it, Do they even use toilet paper?

For those of you asleep in history class in high school, The Bosphorus Straits are the only way the Russian’s Black Sea (warm water) Fleet can get to the open Atlantic Ocean. The Russian’s took Crimea so they could get a warm water port for their military operations. Without the 2 mile wide straight through Turkey, their entire North Atlantic fleet is bottled up in the Black Sea. Essentially a large bathtub able to threaten no one. As more than six thousand Russian oil tankers use this strait a year, this would choke off one of Putin’s major sources of foreign cash flow as well.

Remember, Turkey is letting ANYONE into the region across their borders to join ISIS. This includes foreign fighters and little girls. The only time they appear to be on our side is when they need our help to let the Kurd’s go in and try to expand their territory at everyone else’s expense. If we were forced to bomb the straits to bottle up the Russian’s, Istanbul would be cremated as well. Turkey would NEVER want that to happen. So that’s another chip in our pile on the table.

So let’s see here. In two blog posts I have:

•Solved the Russian-Ukrainian war threat stopping Russian expansion
•Supplied relief to starving and freezing Ukrainian’s and Poles
•Increased American oil profits and dropped gasoline prices at the pump
•Increased the value of your oil rich 401K plan
•Eliminated the ISIS issue and Radical Islam
•Shut down the immigration routes to ISIS through Turkey
•Bottled up Russia’s powerful Black Sea Fleet.
•Addressed and minimized the Iranian issue

All without declaring war on anybody and with minimum investment.

And also, I might add, before lunch.

It’s a shame that no one reads my blog. If any of our government officials could read, these ideas might stand a chance. I am sure CBS would rethink my application to replace Andy Rooney if they did. I would work for them for 1/2 his final salary.

The TPP part 1…..

You read it correctly. My solution to the Baltic Crisis and an end to Russian expansionism in eastern Europe. It’s so simple that it’s no wonder it took me, a simpleton,  to think of it.

The Trans Poland Pipeline.

We finance and build a natural gas pipeline across Poland from Gdansk to Lublin and over the border into Ukraine. We can dock LPG super tankers in Gdansk, offload their liquefied petroleum gas into the pipeline and pump it safely to the Ukraine.

Think of the benefits. First we keep the Ukrainians from freezing to death when Russia shuts off their natural gas supply. Second, the Polish economy would be propped up by the construction and maintenance as well as administration of this new pipeline. Third, the Russians wouldn’t have the stones to attack it or interfere with it’s construction or operation due to fear of our retaliation. Fourth is we get an untapped market for our burgeoning supply of natural gas.

The oil companies profit from the new sales. Before you bitch about that, just remember how heavy your 401K is invested in oil companies not to mention the easing of gas prices we will see due to their increased success. The shipping companies will make money due to the constant transportation of LPG to the Baltic region. We would undoubtedly have some tariff cash coming from the project as well. American technology would be used to build it so therefore American consultants and engineers would be required. More cash to this country.

And not the most important factor but funny none the less. It would be painting Putin’s major hemorrhoid with a big old brush of AMERICAN Tabasco Sauce!

By doing this we counter Russia’s stranglehold on the Ukraine. We would strengthen our relationships with Poland and the Ukraine. We would also have an excuse for arming both strategic countries to the teeth in preparation for the inevitable Russian tantrum. Think of this sort of as the polish Panama Canal project but without the mosquitoes. We build it, defend it and profit from it.

This is all part of my plan for American Global Domination. I’ll reveal  more of it in another post. I have the answers for the Middle East Crisis as well. All of these strategies would work together to rid the world of terrorism and squelch the thugs of the world like Putin and that inbred man-child that’s running North Korea.

Oh shit I forgot one thing:

This will all have to wait until after 2016 when hopefully someone with some fucking balls and a little knowledge of world history is elected to the White House. This obviously precludes Hillary Clinton who has neither.

The only downfall is by the end of this next election cycle it may be too late to pounce on this amazing opportunity. Our current ineffective president may have fumbled the ball away on the goal line just as we were about to score the winning touchdown with two seconds left on the clock.

Why the football metaphor? Simple, both the United States and Canada have professional football leagues and we can’t seem to build a fucking pipeline between them in our own back yard all because of a recent Presidential Veto.

Stay tuned for part two.

The BCF...

Does the following equation look familiar to you? You are bombarded with it every single day by your amateur weather clowns on TV. This one little formula is what allows a talentless face on your six o’clock news to make a mundane story sound like a world ending crisis.

Yes constant reader, I am talking about the dreaded “Wind Chill Factor” This is the official formula for it’s calculation.

WC = 35.74 + 0.6215T – 35.75(V^0.16) + 0.4275T(V^0.16)

This one little formula allows a boring science nerd a few minutes or earth shattering glory during your evening newscast. All he/she has to do is plug the current observations into a handy chart and BINGO, instant headline.

“Clear and cold this evening with a temperature of 10°, BUT A WIND CHILL OF 30 BELOW ZERO! doesn’t that sound a lot more impressive and important? Holy shit! The world is coming to an end! It’s cold here in Montana in the winter, but factor in the wind chill and it’s a wonder how man has even evolved on this planet.

Wind chill is what the temperature feels like on bare skin with the wind factored in. That’s it. If the temperature outside is 10° and there is a 50 mph wind, the temperature of that hunk of metal you pick up is going to be 10°. NOT -17°.  If you go outside to pick it up naked you are too stupid to be alive and you deserve to freeze to death anyway.

Sure the Wind Chill Factor (WCF) is an interesting number, but it’s thrown around these days as if it were the atomic bomb of meteorology. This winter it gets reported even before the regular temperature just to make a bigger and more impressive splash on your mind.

Of course I have a better idea. You just knew I would.

It’s called the BCF. The “Ball Chill Factor" or the "Boob Chill Factor". Take your pick, it's not gender specific.

It’s what the temperature would feel like on your naked balls or boobs with the wind factored in. Due to the extreme sensitivity of these important (and fun) organs this is going to have to be a big scary number.

BCF= (T)x(WCF)-(T)

For example: if the outside temp is 20° and the WCF is 10 below zero. Multiply 10 and 20 and you get 200. Subtract the original 20 and you get a BCF of 180°. Add a minus sign and there you have it. A super scary number that is sure to get everyone’s attention during the six o:clock amateur broadcast of “Action News” or “Eye Witness News”

So lets see here: Outside temp is -20° with a 40 mph wind, the WCF is -57° but the BCF would be -1120°!

Now you gotta admit that a number like that would scare the hell out of you and make you buy whatever commercial shit for winter stuff they threw on from the Home Depot after the news!

If the news assholes really wanted to impress me they would have a hot chick in a white lycra bikini top outside doing the weather in the cold wind and let me make up my mind how cold it really is by a more accurate and reliable form of thermometer.

An alcohol filled laboratory grade thermometer calibrated in Fahrenheit.

What did you think I was referring to?

The Plague Ship...

OK, I will admit it, I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. I freely admit that sometimes I don’t think things all the way through. I do promise that when I do screw up I will fess up to it and take responsibility for my words and actions. Hell, if no one ever made a mistake, no one would ever learn anything.

I have been through quite a bit in my lifetime illness wise. I had pneumonia when I was a baby, broken bones as a kid, had my wisdom teeth gouged out of my head, prostate issues in college. I had a pretty bad head injury in college as well where everything I saw was the color green for a while.

Later on it was diverticulitis, and then some pretty ugly heart issues. If you look at my cardiac history I am probably the only one anywhere that has had a quadruple bypass, 14 cardiac caths with 5 stents and intra-cardiac CD34 stem cell injections.

Why am I telling you all this? Pretty simple really.

For Wifey’s birthday I took her on a 4 day Bahama cruise on the Carnival Fascination. At more than seventy thousand tons (70,000) in her day (1994) she was the third largest cruise ship in the world. This big ass ship holds over two thousand guests and nine hundred crew!

We had an absolute blast!

Where I screwed up is that I haven’t really been exposed to large groups of people for more than two years. Since my heart started going south more rapidly I have been a homebody. My immune system has gotten pretty relaxed since I don’t have any outside public interactions anymore.

The result is that when I go on a cruise ship with two thousand people from all over the world for four days I am going to come down with something. Tuberculosis, Ebloa, Okeechobee Possum Flu, Monkey Pox, whatever it is I’m susceptible.

So here I am living with the cough and congestion one day after returning from an awesome vacation. Am I going to go on Judge Judy and sue Carnival? Am I going to try and blame someone else for my lack of foresight? Am I going to stop wearing a Speedo when sunbathing?

Nah. I’m just going to go to Walgreens and buy some of the real NYQUIL and suffer for not wearing a HAZMAT suit and respirator on the ship!

A Shot in the Dark.....

In 1998 there was an article published in the prestigious British medical journal The Lancet linking the Measles vaccine to an increased number of children diagnosed with Autism. The author of the study, Dr. Andrew Wakefield, used very shoddy and inconclusive scientific methods to support his findings and the whole anti-vaccine movement was born.

Turns out his research findings didn’t hold up. And it was later revealed that he was being paid by a legal firm to come up with the conclusions he published. The Legal firm was currently suing the manufacturer of the a Measles vaccine and needed scientific data to back their legal argument.

In 2010 the publishers of The Lancet retracted the article and apologized for it’s inclusion in their journal. The said they felt they were intentionally deceived.

The upshot of this fraudulent  shit is that today parents are refusing to have their children vaccinated against deadly diseases that we once thought we had eradicated. Measles, Polio, Small Pox, German Measles are all making comebacks in un-vaccinated children.

Which is fine with me. Really it is.

I’m a libertarian. You can do with your body and your children whatever you want, within reason. You don’t want to eat meat? No sweat. You want to smoke? Go for it. You want to earn a Darwin Award for being stupid? Knock yourself out. My philosophy is do whatever you want until it affects me. There are laws against child abuse and child cruelty in our society. Failure to vaccinate a child could be construed as to breaking these laws. But I don't care.

Don’t want to put your kids in car seats? Let them go through the windshield during an accident. Chances are they would grow up stupid like their parents and be a burden on society anyway. Stupid people endangering their offspring in stupid ways is just nature throwing a little chlorine in the gene pool. Idiots doing foolish things that get themselves killed is NATURAL. Most of the time it’s fun as hell to watch!

And I’m OK with that.

Don’t vaccinate your children if you don’t want to. All I want you to do is sign a waiver stating that you will be solely responsible for the medical bills your child incurs. No Medicaid, no Obamacare, no use of free public medical facilities whatsoever. Your insurance company gets to deny paying these claims because you put your child at an unreasonable level of risk. You have the right to choose therefore you are required to accept the consequences. Can’t pay? Oh well. One less mouth to feed. Bury them in the back yard and live to be stupid another day. Just don’t try and do it on my dime.

Let the un-vaccinated children go to school. Let their stupidity bred illness infect the other un-vaccinated offspring of the moron brigade. This is our chance to let nature do what it does best. Culling the herd, weeding out the runts of the litter.

It isn’t a matter of cost, most health departments provide the vaccines to the under privileged for free. It’s just a case of stupid public hysteria over a subject most people are to lazy to research properly.

Cruel? Yup. Fair? Completely.

What could be more fair than the stupid dying off so the intelligent can survive?

HackySac Pee Pee Whack...

It’s the holiday season again. Everyone is out spending tons of money they can’t afford on presents that no one want’s or needs.

I love it! I really do!

My new favorite items are the ultra cheap laptop computers that are showing up on line and in the big box moron traps like Sprawl-Mart, Breast Buy and Target.

It seems like only yesterday when Sony, one of the worlds largest and most powerful technology companies, was hacked by cyber terrorists. Wait a minute, it WAS yesterday! Their email systems, payroll and super secure corporate secrets were all compromised by computer hackers. The Home Depot was hit this year. So was Target. All of a sudden your credit cards and banking information may be out there for sale to the highest bidder. The IRS was hacked last year also. That ought to make you feel warm and fuzzy as well.

Just imagine that the huge and all powerful unregulated IRS who handles your taxes, and now your medical records thanks to Obamacare, was hacked and who knows where that information has gone. There are even companies springing up with million dollar guarantees that they can protect you from credit card fraud and identity theft.

Bullshit.

Their fine print says they will spend up to a million dollars to attempt to help you get your funds back. The truth is, NO BODY can protect you from the threat of hackers getting your vital and private information. Unless of course you live in the woods and eat roots and berries and never interact with modern civilization again.

Which leads me to today’s rant.

The new rage this Christmas is the ultra cheap laptops. For under 200 bucks you can pick up one of these pseudo computers and be on line computing in minutes. Why so cheap? It’s pretty simple really. They have very little RAM and they don’t have a hard drive. All of your programs and data are stored on the “Cloud”. The “Cloud” is a large computer storage server sitting somewhere out in cyberspace and it makes your shit available to you wherever and whenever you need it. You don’t even need a telephone line or cable connection. They work off of a cellular signal that is built into the computer’s terminal.  You pay for this monthly, on line of course.

So think about this for a minute. You now have a device that can do all your computing and store all of your personal data, bank accounts, email addresses, electronic shopping and bill paying and also your tax and health records, somewhere that is not in your control.

My financial information is on a second drive on this computer that sometimes I can’t even get into because I forget the password or even to plug it in. When it’s unplugged no one on the planet can get into my data. Do you really want to save a couple hundred bucks on a laptop that almost guarantees you will become a victim of identity theft or worse? Is this a great country or what?

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Quarantine Stupidity…

With the recent and deadly outbreak of Ebola Zaire in Western Africa a few tough questions need to be asked. If you didn’t think I had the stones to ask them, I guess you haven’t read any other posts in my blog yet!

Ebola is a pretty wicked disease. Kudos to those who volunteer their time and skills to go to the front lines and do battle with this horrible killer. They are doing truly heroic work there.

Why should that stop when they fly home? Have they lost part of their reasoning power to this disease or experience. Are they so anxious to show the good work they have done that their vanity and craving of the limelight eclipse all their training and knowledge?

When you come back from an Ebola afflicted area, when you have been working with infected patients who contract a disease with a 50% mortality rate, do you not expect to be quarantined?

How fucking stupid can you be?

Recently a nurse came back from the “Hot Zone” and had her temperature taken upon hitting US soil. Ebola is a “Hemorrhagic Fever”. The first sign someone has been infected, at this point in the evolution of the disease, is an elevated temperature. Hers was elevated. The state of New Jersey put her into a hastily constructed isolation area. As far as we know, if no symptoms appear within a 21 day window starting the last day one is exposed to the infection, you don’t have the disease. Healthcare workers in the “Hot Zone” know this more than anyone else on the planet. This nurse felt her rights were being violated and she has threatened legal action against the state and federal government. Her fever has since abated and she was released. She has been allowed to go home to Maine.

How does that make you Maniacs feel now? This selfish hero could be walking around your home town and possibly be infecting all of you with this killer disease.

Since when does her volunteer service outside of the country trump anyone’s rights not to be infected? What has happened to the training and common sense that she is supposed to possess as a nurse? Doesn’t she realize the harm she is doing to the nursing profession as well as the damage she has caused in the response system of our governments?

Kaci, your perceived nobility that you gained for your heroic service went out the window when your actions threatened the safety of the populace.

Sit in the isolation tent for how ever long you need to. Were you in deluxe accommodations in West Africa? Put up with the inconvenience and come out of the situation with your head held high and possibly a book deal.

Don’t act like a spoiled, self centered, stuck up New England Bitch (or Dick, gender dependent).

This whole situation has caught our leaders with their pants down. Mistakes are, and will continue, to be made. We need to try and think our way out of this potential pandemic. It shouldn’t be that hard. Stop the incoming flights from the countries of Western Africa, Secure our borders. Quarantine potential victims for the required period of time and use some fucking common sense for once.

None of this will happen. Our government is infected with a far more dangerous and virulent disease.

It’s called the Mid-Term Election…..

Hopefully Not the 11th Song…

Well, tomorrow is the First Coast Heart Walk. The American Heart Association's world wide fund raiser. The idea is for people to come together and raise money and awareness to combat the effects of Cardiovascular Disease. Heart Attacks and Strokes kill over eight hundred thousand (800,000) Americans every year. Pretty serious numbers when you realize that’s over 15 times as many Americans as died in the entire Viet Nam war. One in four Americans will die from Heart Disease.

There is a 25% chance Heart Disease will kill you. Yes stupid, YOU reading this, YOU!

Depending on when you read this, Heart Disease will have or will be killing me. Yup. No more Chuckie.

I fought this fight as hard as I could. I have had a quadruple bypass, 14 heart caths, and 5 stents. I have easily spent a couple million dollars of my own, well mostly insurance company, money. I have even volunteered for clinical trials for experimental procedures in an attempt to help win this fight. Sure, if the Stem Cell clinical trial continues to show amazing results I will get to live a bit longer. But the real bonus is that the research may one day help you or one of your loved ones fight and maybe , just maybe, keep you from having to go the the pain and anguish that my beautiful wife and family have gone through. I’m not sure whether watching the intolerable pain I have put them through or the physical pain of the heart condition is worse. Both of them really suck.

Tomorrow, after the walk, I will be purging my friends list on Facebook. I was under the impression that Facebook friends were real friends.  19% of them donated to my cause. I guess I am just an analog fool in a digital age. I keep only a few friends and that list will now be culled drastically. I don’t have a lot of time left on this earth. Soon I will be sitting under The Tree, drinking from the Beer Volcano in Flying Spaghetti Monster Heaven. I surely don’t have time to spend on or with people who don’t care about me or are unwilling to come off of a couple bucks to help keep me alive much longer.

Only a few of us can perform open heart surgery. All of us can afford a few dollars to donate to save our or a loved ones life. Chances are you are reading this on a device that costs $500.00 or more utilizing a service that sets you back $50 to $100 a month.

So let me see if I understand this correctly, You have a $600.00 cell phone that costs you a grand a year to keep active so you can play angry birds and type stupid fucking text messages into, but you can’t come off of $20.00 to help defeat heart disease? And I don’t mean for me. This research could save your and your children’s lives.

Don’t ask me if I think that’s pretty stupid, You won’t like the answer.

If I survive tomorrow it will be because of two things, Cardiac Research and the love and support of my Wifey and true friends.

And if you didn’t care enough to cough up a couple bucks for this, my chosen cause, don’t insult me by crying fake bullshit tears when I am gone. You just flat out, didn’t give a shit about me anyway. The only person you will be fooling is yourself.

In fact, don’t come to my memorial service at all. Just stay home and jerk off with your expensive little smart phone or computer you shallow little prick.

Maybe you deserve the ticking time bomb in your chest after all.

Oh, The 11th song on the Doors 1967 album “The End”

The Cold Wet Facts…

The most recent storm to hit the internet is the “Ice Bucket Challenge” that is being done to support the ALS foundation.

ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) is a terrible debilitating disease that is also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. It attacks the nerve cells and pathways in the brain and spinal cord. It’s an ugly thing to see let alone come down with.

According to ALSA, the official organization that raises money to fight this disease and support it’s victims, two people per one hundred thousand will contract this disease and die from it in America every year. The recent Ice Bucket Challenge craze on the internet was wildly successful. Millions of dollars were raised to combat this affliction. What you did was pour a bucket of ice water over your head and donate $10.00 to ALS. You then challenge your friends to do the same. If you don’t do the challenge in 24 hours you are supposed to send them $100.00. You video this tremendously selfless feat and upload it to the internet to shame your friends publicly into joining the movement. This internet phenomenon spread faster than Herpes at a week long rock concert. The sad part is most people don’t send in their $10.00. They just want to look good and have some fun with their friends

Saturday, 20 September 2014 I will be walking in the American Heart Association’s Heart Walk. I hope to raise some money for the AHA for combating and researching Heart Disease.

Why? You Ask?

Simple Answer. Heart Disease kills one in four Americans. Period. That means you have a 25% chance of dying from cardiovascular disease. Read it again, YOU HAVE A 25% CHANCE OF DYING OF HEART DISEASE. Everyone knows someone who has had a heart attack. I mean KNOWS someone. Facebook friends and twitter twats don’t count. YOU personally know someone who has died of cardiovascular disease.

Heart Disease kills 10 (ten) times as many WOMEN as Breast Cancer.

In the next 20 minutes 30 Americans will die from cardiovascular disease.

I am in no way belittling any other charity or organization here. One of my closest friends is in a fight for her life against Breast Cancer. Human female breasts are some of the most beautiful things ever invented. I even shaved my head to help support my dear friend, although I don't look as sexy bald as she does.

But I am dying of Heart Disease. My support and efforts are for this cause.

I haven’t been able to walk a hundred yards in one outing in over two years let alone a mile. Hopefully I will be able to do it now. I'm pretty sure I can.

I have been beyond fortunate with the care and love of my Wifey, my friends, physicians and nursing staff who have kept me alive for so long. (I refer to them all as "Team Chuckie"!)  The experimental Cardiac Stem Cell injections I received last June are truly the stuff of science fiction. Whoever would have thought that one day we would be able to stimulate the growth of new arteries on the heart muscle itself thus repairing damaged tissue from a heart attack? One day we may actually find a way to completely beat this curse that kills one quarter of Americans.

I hope I am alive to see that day.

But if I am not, I will go to Flying Spaghetti Monster Heaven knowing I did what I could to try and save your life. Yes, you reading this right now, YOUR LIFE.

You can donate to my favorite cause or sign up to walk with me at   

http://firstcoastheartwalk.kintera.org/teamchuckie 

And you don’t even have to get wet!

Another final answer...

Why? I ask again and again.

With all the intellectual horsepower this country has floating around, why is it that only I can come up with intelligent answers for today's problems? I’m not that bright a guy. This makes me feel that our elected officials and high priced talent in government is not really worth what we are paying them.

A perfect example. The illegal immigrant problem along the southern US border. We are being milked to death trying to pay for all these illegal children streaming across the border. The feds and even local county governments are coming up short of cash trying to take care of these parasites.

The answer is beyond simple. Hell I thought of it. How difficult could it be?

Last years we gave:

Belize                   $28,300,000.00
Costa Rica            $38,000,000.00
El Salvador         $280,000,000.00
Guatemala          $391,800,000.00
Honduras            $624,000,000.00
Mexico               $958,200,000.00
Nicaragua           $695,000,000.00

Total                $3,015,000,000.00

For those of you challenged by zeros, that’s Three Billion Fifteen Million dollars.

Source is Wikipedia and Worldbank.org.

So you see, the cash is there already. We are giving it to these countries as foreign aid. Why don’t we just figure out a fair price per kid and just use it for these parasitic children here? You don’t think this would get the attention of all these mosquito infested cesspool countries who just line their leaders pockets with our charitable aid?

I would even go so far as implementing an economic embargo against Mexico as well as withholding foreign aid for their participation in the trafficking of these kids through their country to invade the United States. Sure we would piss off Carnival and Royal Caribbean for a while, but as soon as Mexico's tourist industry starts to feel the pinch the problem will be quickly solved.

Everyone wins, The states get reimbursed for the kids the feds are forcing on them, The government gets some cash for their work sheepherding these parasites, and it costs us nothing beyond what we are already spending.

Then our simpleton President gets to register more future Democratic voters when they make it to citizenship.

Whoda thunk it?

The Next Final Answer...

This time the final answer might cost us a little time and money.

Question:  Why are these children swarming the border of the southern United States?

Answer:  To get a better life and escape the horrendous living conditions in their own countries.

Pretty simple and straightforward. The United States has a higher standard of living than almost all of these third world cesspools that these kids are running away from. The shining light of freedom and charity is attracting them like moths to the flame. Our pathetic lack of an immigration policy that allows most anyone to lawyer their way into the US and stay here has caused the problem.

Just last night one of theses underprivileged kids who is in fear of his life was interviewed by a news reporter. The poor homeless kid in Central America pointed to a text message he received on his iPhone that detailed how to come to America and how to assure he would not be deported. I couldn’t believe it either. The kid had an iPhone! I don’t even have an iPhone! It seems the digital age is helping these children come to our country and they are coordinating their attack on us with cellular technology!

And there is nothing we can do about it.

Or is there?

Maybe we should seal the border and shoot a few of them. Let the world see a handful of children dangling on the wire being picked over by the vultures. Just think how powerful of an image it would be if the world had the opportunity to see a pile of dead illegal immigrant children set on fire at the border.

Pretty disturbing image isn’t it? You are probably pissed off at me for even thinking it let alone publishing it on my little Blog.

And that’s exactly what I want you to think and feel.

The point is, social media is feeding this swarm. Our technology has partially caused this problem. Maybe we should use it to our advantage for once?

We need to develop  a secret program (our government loves secret programs) that creates a few videos showing the above scenes. They get leaked to the news media in this country and around the world. The videos go “viral” and the word gets out that ranchers and land owners on the border are committing terrible atrocities on these children and the United States government is not able, or willing, to stop them.

Maybe if this country was a little less attractive these children and their parents, would think twice about sending their children on a journey on foot through Mexico to get here.


If special effects and Hollywood can make us believe in extra-terrestrials, transformers and Zombies, Why can't we fake a few horrific inhumane videos?

Hell I don’t even like to go to Mexico on vacation anymore let alone walk the length of the country barefoot,

with an iPhone.

The Answer Part 1.

I am tired of hearing about our military being under funded and all the problems we have with injured veterans returning home from battle. I am not a hippie liberal communist or anti-American in any way shape or form. I just think we are addressing our military issues incorrectly.

We have what, a half a million armed soldiers in various spots around the world? Many millions more of civilian employees supporting them. They have trillions of dollars of weapons and hardware that they use to threaten and scare the shit out of our enemies with. Sometimes they are called upon to use these toys to kill bad guys.

The problem lies in the fact we are a caring, Christian faith based nation. When someone get’s their leg blown off in battle, we do everything humanly possible to save them and try to make their lives normal again. Sometimes we end up spending millions of dollars on a person who barely graduated high school and joined the military because it was a better job then delivering pizzas for a living. (Yes I have made pizzas for a living before so I can speak about that)

Our enemies couldn’t care less. Their advantage on the battlefield is clear. They don’t care about human life. To them, a fallen soldier is just a liability. Some are of the belief that they will be rewarded in an afterlife for dying in battle. They even use suicide bombers to achieve their objectives. They also routinely attack non-combatant civilians. How much have you heard about the Wounded Warriors Fund in an Arabic nation? Any VA for fallen terrorists? Their objective comes first and at all costs.

That’s why we are losing the war on terror on all fronts.

We need to change. We need to be more barbaric than our enemies. This is the only way they will fear us and leave us the hell alone.

We need to have an all convict army. Take our vermin and the worst of the worst criminals we have locked up in our prisons and run them through military style training. Let them be our front lines. Cannon fodder if you will. If they survive their sentence as a soldier they will have been taught a skill and be better rehabilitated than if they just did their time lifting weights and getting three squares in prison while doing drugs and mastering the art of sodomy.

If on the battle field they get shot, too bad. Why should we endanger the lives of others to save them? This sends two messages. To our own guys, you better perform like bloodthirsty killers and to our enemies, hey these guys mean business.

If you really get out of high school and want to join the military without having to go to prison first, you get trained to be an officer/troop guard. You lead your squad and if they turn to run or try to escape you shoot them. Went to college? Have a degree and still want the military life? No sweat. You can fly a jet fighter. The skilled jobs will still be there and those that are qualified will still be able to play with the billion dollar toys. You get to drive the aircraft carrier. The criminals swab the deck and clean the heads. Your care and treatment after your service is merit based. You went in as a volunteer and drove a tank, you get VA care afterwards. You were a drafted/convicted felon offered a chance at redemption, you get to become a productive citizen again. You are on your own medically.

This plan not only reduces the prison population and lowers the cost of incarceration, but it will also serve as a crime deterrent. Do the crime, do the time takes on a whole new meaning. We would also save money by leaving our fallen behind. No more million dollar artificial limbs for people who dodged pizza making and drove their truck through a minefield. The rapist murderer from the inner city street gang who we now have driving the truck becomes part of the local scenery forever.

The money we save by closing prisons, deterring crime and not having to support future casualties could go a long way towards fixing our financial problems as well.

I am not suggesting that we stop caring for those who are already in the system. Our returning warriors are owed a debt and we must make sure they are cared for and repaid. We just can’t afford to keep doing this forever. It’s time for a radical and pragmatic solution to be implemented.

Do you have any idea?

What the hell you are talking about? I mean really, do you just pick a nice sounding cause out of the air and become an expert on it overnight? It may sound practical, good and politically correct to support something, but shouldn’t you even spend 5 minutes learning about an issue before you go spouting off on the internet and potentially offending millions of people, not to mention exposing your complete ignorance to the world?

My friend list on Facebook is pretty slim. I keep friends who I like, keep in touch with or have similar  beliefs with. I constantly add and purge my friends list according to some pretty strict criteria.

Imagine my horror when someone I once put on my friends list came out with this stupid line about how we humans should stop product testing and clinical trials on animals. I am still so flabbergasted that I am having a hard time typing this let alone breathing.

No Lisa, I won’t mention your name as I am now terribly ashamed to admit I even know you.

The sad part is, this ignorant and foolish belief gets seen by potentially millions of people all around the world and without any research or intellectual backing a movement is born. Soon political pressure develops and vital life saving procedures and products are abandoned. I still get questions from some people about my Cardiac Stem Cell trial. My stem cells did not get harvested from aborted fetuses. They came from MY OWN bone marrow and white blood cells. They were injected into MY OWN left ventricular wall muscle tissue. The result? I have grown new arteries on my heart allowing me to live and blog for a few more years. My wifey is kind of happy with this outcome.

Guess what? This procedure was first tested on animals. So was the insulin I have to take every day to stay alive. I am sure all the medicine I take was once tested on animals. Know anyone with cancer who survived? How about a heart attack? Pneumonia or another ailment that was treated with antibiotics? Ever heard of or used used Johnson’s No More Tears Baby Shampoo? Do you think they tied down a bunch of human babies and squirted that shit into their pried open eyes? Of course not. They did it to lab rats and maybe some monkeys. Lab animals that were conceived and raised for that purpose. Just how else do you think they should have done it?

One of my Facebook friends started mouthing off about animal testing of products and procedures a few minutes ago and you have her to thank for this tirade. I simply go berserk when I hear people who have no knowledge of a subject start pontificating about it in public. Firstly, it makes them look stupid and secondly it embarrasses me for having to admit they are/were my friend. You can also be assured I won’t defend their stupidity in the name of friendship either. You may have a right to express your opinion, you may have the ability to reply “To each his Own Chuck” and if you want to tattoo “I am a complete fucking moron who will believe anything I hear or am told” across your forehead, that’s your right as well. And I support it. Hell, I encourage it. Maybe I would have had a heads up before I made/considered you my friend.

Maybe you were a normal thinking adult who was intelligent and enlightened until you ate something that wasn’t tested on animals throughly and then gave you the mind and thought processes of a protozoan. At least no mice were harmed in your intellectual de-evolution. That would have been a shame.

This one I will just unfriend. I see her maybe once a year but have to suffer through her hippy tree hugging stupid rants  at least 10 times a day when she posts her dumb shit deJour on Facebook where it shows up on my news feed.

The problem is this: Her uninformed stupid shit will still be seen by hundreds of people as she is one of those who friends anyone who will listen to her drivel. By the end of the day her dribbling shit of an opinion could be seen by hundreds of thousands of simpletons like her on Facebook and possibly effect real change in the world.

To much public policy and legal change is made by uninformed idiots who can control the masses by saying feel good shit that makes no sense whatsoever.

Please people, for the sake of my blood pressure. Think before you open your mouths and embarrass yourselves and me in public. And for heavens sake, think about what you post on the internet. If you haven’t researched it or are just parroting what someone else says because it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, just keep it to yourself.

At least when Al Gore says stupid shit he knows nothing about in public he does it to make a buck.

Stupidity without even profit as a motive is beyond my comprehension and undeserving of my time.

Twitter Storm……

Federal and state authorities in Atlanta and all across the southeast are today bracing for a severe outbreak of dumbshittery.

It seems that for the first time in the history of the planet there will be an ice storm in Atlanta. It's time to just close up shop and start constructing coffins. You better go home and settle your accounts with your Lord and lay down and wait for the Grim Reaper to come for you. The city has been put on "High Alert" for the possibility of 3/4 of an inch of ice to coat trees and power lines. Traffic will be snarled, flights will be cancelled, schools will be closed, dogs and cats will be sleeping in the same rooms….

Please excuse me here for a moment,

What's the big deal?

It has snowed in Atlanta before, They have had ice in Atlanta before. Flights get cancelled in and out of Atlanta all the time, I know. I have been stuck there three times in my life by spring thunderstorms and once I was trapped by snow in the Wyndham hotel. This happens EVERY YEAR or at least every few years.  It's not a catastrophe. It's normal.

I can remember as a kid in growing up in Connecticut, times when we had a couple of FEET of snow overnight and the schools were closed. Dad had to use the snowblower to clean the driveway to get to work. He used to get up at 5:00 in the morning so he could get to work on time. He had snow tires on the cars and a couple hundred pounds of sand in the trunk for better traction. We had an extra fridge in the basement that was full of food and plenty of winter supplies stocked up. The generator was gassed up and waiting for the power to go out. Sometimes for days at a time. We just KNEW that the weather was going to suck in the winter back then. We were prepared for it. Why isn't anyone smart enough to do that now?

What isn't normal is the reaction by the idiots in the news media who have nothing better to do than stir up trouble in order to keep the advertising dollars flowing in. You can now get severe weather reports sent to you automatically by text and twitter messages. This is just in case you didn't know the sky was falling, or Godzilla was coming,  from listening to the radio or TV news.

Why does it seem that the more technology we acquire, the stupider we become? Weather forecasts still miss the mark sometimes but every fool has an iPhone. All you have to do is get a free weather app and you will see that the weather is going to be shitty today. Should you go to work knowing there is going to be ice on the road tonight? Should you wear a coat and maybe have some winter supplies in your car like an ice scraper or brush to get the crap off your windows. Maybe snow chains are in order?

Or maybe, just maybe you should keep your stupid ass home. If you get stranded or wreck your car in "The Storm of the Century" tonight you are going to miss a couple days work anyway. Are you that damn important that the weather and world should stop for you? Should your dumbassery trump common sense? Do you have ANY common sense at all?

You are smart enough to have the latest $500.00 cell phone but you still go out in the snow and ice and not expect to get stuck or at the very least delayed?

Or should you just flush your smartphone down the toilet and try not to act like such an unprepared jerk in the first place?

One of our SUBS is missing?

We have Lost A Sub?

More like a whole fleet of Subs.

What the hell are you blabbing about now Chuckie? Have you gone off the deep end again?

Yes, Yes I have.

You see, your local Subway sandwich shop is going to be very different pretty soon. It's probably going to be subtle at first. It will resemble the take over of the automobile, banking and healthcare industries by our trustworthy government.

You see, Subway will soon be displaying Michelle Obama's picture in their restaurants. She promotes a "healthy diet" and therefore it seemed like a good idea to Subway's management hacks to have her as a spokesperson. So soon when you are going in for a nice lunch you will get to see her nasty mug staring down at you while you eat.

Boycotts are being organized already and some local franchises will be hurt. Wouldn't it suck to be the businessman who invested tens of thousands of dollars into opening and running a Subway store only to have the corporate office require you to put Mrs. Obama's picture in your store? Especially when you know that it will hurt your sales and reputation. With so many other Sub shops opening these days it would suck to have your own parent company hang you out to dry.

Don't get me wrong here, I LIKE Subway. They make a pretty good sandwich and they are in places that are convenient to what I like to do. Sure, some of their national advertising campaigns suck, but, they do make a quality product and employ a lot of people who need a good first job. I just will now start  looking elsewhere for my sandwich needs.

And to take things to the extreme (like I am sometimes prone to doing) Will it stop with her sponsorship? Is this a move against the fast food industry by our government to eventually control what you eat? Don't think it can happen? That's what they said about the auto industry. Remember when Chrysler was an American company? Sure young boys didn't have a poster of a Passat on their wall growing up, but NOBODY had a graphic of a Fiat on their wall either!

The point is, New York City already has laws about soft drink size and other silly nutritional regulations that impinge your choices as an American. Some high schools only have vending machines with "healthy" products in them. Don't even get me started on those fools in California who have more silly laws on the books than you can imagine.

Will the IRS soon be in control of the nutritional laws and what you chose to eat in coming years?

No one thought the IRS would be in charge of your health insurance either.

Remember where you heard it first.

Bon Appetit!

I Wonder Why...

Why is it that there are no women in the Viagra television commercials?

Every other advertisement on TV for "Boner Pills" has above average to outrageously beautiful women in them. Sure at the end of the Cialis ads the amorous couple are in separate bathtubs, but the point is clear. Take these pills and get laid by a sexy female.

Who is Viagra advertising to?

Just wondering.